#you gotta be so deluded and into yourself if you believe that there would be no - zero - consequences to your actions

[lostchildofthenewworld]

I think with Rhaegar, whatever he ascertained to his purpose, he would desire it. To me, he was an insatiable man of appetite for self interest, in the worst way.

My favorite Rhaegar (oxymoron right there) fic is by liesmyth. It’s called the piper at the gates of dawn and it’s one of those you live again and again groundhogs day fics. You’ve probably read it but if not, I would recommend. I enjoyed seeing him fail.

R wakes up after dying on the trident and is completely unrepentant for the pain he caused people. He runs off with L again and fails and dies. Eventually he gets tired of that version and just takes off w/o saying anything and does whatever he wants. Knowing that his kids and Elia are in danger but he doesn’t really care. The author describes a bunch of different lives but at the end it seems like R gets everything he wants but he’s still unhappy. Because it’s not exactly how he wanted it. Anyway it ends with him dying. Even after doing everything exactly how he wanted he still dies. It’s reads as a sort of character study of Rhaegar.

I think I've read this before. I've mentioned before that I believe Rhombus gained his sense of self/self-importance from his grandparents. So long as he believes in his own delusions, he'll always be the most dangerous thing to his family and himself. I mean look at Aerys and how dangerous he was because of what he believed to be his truth.

That's the danger of people who have an inflated sense of ego and importance. They believe that their delusion, that their reality, is the same for everyone else, because they can't see beyond themselves. It would only need to take a moment of self reflection and self-actualization for pale-face prince to realize the dangerous slope he was on. Even when he left KL and was speaking to Jaime, he did not even factor in that maybe he would not return, so sure he was in his victory and infallibility.

I think that's why the death of Rhaella and Elia and her children are so depressing. Both wives are victim's of their husband's egos, with others (their enemies), (in Elia's case) taking advantage of their short-sightedness. But it often seems that the women of asoiaf suffer for the male ego.

[bvccy]

Hi!!! Hope you're doing great

Can I please have a mix between number 2 from the soft and 8 from the dark one

Thanks, lost of love ❤❤❤

Thank you so much, nonnie! I am so sorry this took so long, I meant to post yesterday but it wasn’t done. Also, the 8th dark prompt was requested just before you sent in this one, so that is filled separately here.

I tried to do the mix you asked for, and I took the liberty of writing this with Bucky (specifically 40s!BB), and I hope that it’s ok. It’s a bit of a more specific story, actually, that I’d wanted to write for a while. I also did a kind of first for me, because it involves Steve x reader as a backdrop 😂 Anyway.

Lots of love to you too, my dear! 💗💗💗

— PAIRING: soft!dark!Bucky x Reader • preserum!Steve x Reader — PROMPT: Asteria - gazing at one’s object of affection, from afar + Prassius - an impossible desire, and unclean love — LINKS: Masterlist • love stones prompt list — WORDCOUNT: 2.5k

It had taken long enough, and sometimes it seemed like it would never happen, but he finally found Steve a girlfriend — or rather, his girlfriend found him one. Dottie had exhausted several of her close friends and most acquaintances, but she knew how tired Bucky was of seeing his friend mope around, feeling like a third wheel, getting into trouble to pass the time. And honestly she liked Steve too, just not like that — but, wonder-worker that she was, Dottie found a girl that did.

She agreed to come on a double-date one night, and she and Stevie hit it right off. It was the first time Bucky met her too, and he didn't think much of the girl. Small, shy, not quite sickly-looking but not far from it, shoes a bit scuffed, clothes a bit too big for her and smelling of plain soap — in a word: perfect. She was perfect for his sickly, skinny friend who nobody else wanted, and by the looks of things, nobody had wanted her either because she seemed to have no idea what to do around a dance hall. As they were returning home that night, he even heard her confess to Steve that she had never been to one before.

They went out on two more dates, all four of them, within as many weeks. Bucky loved to dance, and Dottie too, but Steve and his girl weren't so fond of tripping over their feet and being laughed at. So they sat together at the table like a pair of broken toys, sharing an ice cream sundae, swinging shoulder-to-shoulder with the music when they liked the tune. Bucky waved at them when their eyes met, and they waved back and cheered at his dancefloor performance, but that happened less and less as they got caught up in each other. Steve would start to sketch things on the napkins while they chatted: the band, the sea of dancers, the fancy chandeliers, and eventually her.

"She said nobody's ever drawn her picture before," his friend said dreamily as they walked back, after they wished a good night to the girls. "Can you believe that?"

"Sure can…"

"She almost didn't let me do it. But she's so pretty, Buck."

"Mhm, nice girl."

"I mean yeah, she's no Dottie, but… I don't know, there's just somethin' I like so much about her… I guess her eyes, the way they look when she's smiling, or how her hair looks when the sun shines on it…"

"Get a load a' you," he grinned, wrapping his arm around Steve's shoulder in a playful grip that moved his friend's whole body. "One dame's sweet on you, and all of a sudden you're Romeo."

"At least I'm not a punk like you," Steve teased, slipping from his grasp.

"You know what I like best about her?"

"What?" he asked, with a hint of jealousy.

But Bucky smirked without a care. "How she keeps you out of trouble."

It had, indeed, been a while since Steve got in an alley brawl, and by their fifth date his last few bruises healed. He'd almost gotten into one by a cotton candy stand at Coney Island, but his girl was there to pull him back.

"Stevie, leave him alone…"

"You heard what he said?!"

"Who cares," she sighed, clinging to his arm and throwing the other man a hateful look. "Come on, didn't you want to win me that stuffed teddy bear?"

"Better listen to your girl, pal."

"Oh go find a sty to wallow in," she hissed.

"I ought'a smack some manners into you, you two-bit broad!"

"I'd worry about my own manners if I were you, buddy." Bucky slipped between them, coming from behind, standing now close enough to punch the guy if things got heated. But, seeing himself outnumbered, the other man cursed them and left. Just then, Dottie finally caught up.

"What's going on?" she asked, a little out of breath.

Bucky turned around, and was met by the heart-melting sight of Steve and his girl holding each other, her hands on his cheeks as she quietly chastised him, but loving enough that it made him smile and giggle. She closed it with a kiss to his cheek that made the boy blush, and a kittenish rub of their noses together.

"Nothing, everything's fine."

It was around the time they went to see a movie together that Bucky's joy for Steve turned into something else. They sat in the back while some musical played, and through the flashing lights and the corner of his eye, he could see his friend with his sweetheart holding hands on top of her lap throughout the whole performance. Meanwhile Dottie kept rubbing up against him, sometimes leaning her head on his shoulder, daring in the darker scenes to kiss his neck, but when she tried to get more of his attention —

"Buckyyy, what's wrong?"

— he shook her off. Hearing his name spoken by her voice suddenly felt disappointing.

He caught himself staring more and more, and not just when they went out together. Sometimes, the girl came by and spent some time with Steve, looking at his newer sketches, trying her hand too — oh and how disgusting they looked, Steve taking advantage of the situation to sit behind, and wrap his arms around her, and whisper in her ear. The pair greeted him cheerfully when he stepped through the living room and caught them, and he grinned back at them as he took a glass of milk, but all his appetite was gone.

And when they walked together through the park, and he saw them holding hands again… When Steve dug for some change to get her an ice cream, and they giggled stupidly as they made a mess of sharing it… When she fell asleep by his side one night at the dance hall, and Stevie woke her up with a tickle down her cheek, and she shivered and murmured like a bird and hid her face in his unworthy shoulder…

"Why don't you ever wanna dance, doll?" he asked as they were fetching drinks.

"Not much good at it, I guess," she shrugged. "The fast ones make me dizzy and I always trip."

"I can teach you. It'll work out great! Stevie teaches you to draw, I teach you how to dance… What do you say?"

The girl seemed to think, but shook her head. "Hmmm… No, not right now. Thanks," she smiled politely. "Besides, what would Stevie do meanwhile?"

She told him no just for the sake of keeping his scrawny little friend company, and Bucky had never felt more insulted — not that she wouldn't dance with him, although that hurt enough, but that he couldn't remember the last dame that gave something up just to stick with him, or got into fights for him, or kissed his wounds away, or held his hand in hers with no ulterior motive, and he'd found a girl that did that, and he wasted her on Steve.

So what if she was a little on the smaller side? So what if her dresses didn't fit right? So what if she came down with the cold at every change of season? He put up with it for Steve and he wasn't half as charming. The girl, instead, looked very delicate, more feminine in her own way, like when she braced her fingers on a table as she talked and mindlessly swung back and forth, animated in whatever she was saying, and her digits bent in such a childish way he feared they'd break, and it only made him want to kiss them. Or when she took her shoes off when she came to their apartment and he could catch a hint of shapely ankle, just perfect for his grip, or a peachy pink instep small enough to fit his palm. And when she fell asleep on their couch that one time and Bucky saw her all curled up, and noticed the arch of her hips and the cinch of her waist and pictured how good it would feel to hold them, and angle them upward, and…

Slowly, he started to appreciate some of what his friend had said that night, because she did have lovely eyes, and hair that looked so soft and warm, and her scent, unburdened by perfume, was sweet and girlish, and her lips looked kissable, and her wrists and knees and ankles too…

"Going out again, tonight?" he asked as the blond boy fixed himself in the mirror.

"Yeah, she wants to try this new place we —"

"Alright, alright…" sighed Bucky, already sick of hearing more. "So, that's all you're gonna do?"

"Well… yeah."

And then he voiced an evil thought. "Don't you ever want to… you know?"

"Y-you think we should?" Steve asked, turning away from his pallid reflection.

Bucky sat sprawled across the couch, and shrugged. "If she really likes you, she'd be up for it, don't you think?"

"I don't know about that, Buck."

"No? Ok," he nodded. "After all, what do I know?"

The aftermath of this particular advice was a draught of dates for poor ol' Steve, because just like Bucky had expected, the girl shrinked at the suggestion and couldn't stand to see him. For a while.

"Can you believe it, Buck?!"

"Yeah…"

"She'll see me again!"

"That's great, Stevie."

"What's wrong? You're lookin' real dour today."

Bucky knew he shouldn't. "I just…" He knew that it was wrong. "Look, it's great that she's forgiven you, but you gotta be realistic about this, pal." He had been happy for Steve at one point, long ago.

"What do you mean?"

But that was before he saw just how much love a girl could give, and realised he'd never felt it.

"Just don't delude yourself this is anything more than what it looks like, ok? She's only forgiven you because she knows nobody else will have her."

"That's mean, Buck."

"Yeah, well… I'm just looking out for you. You're my best friend, you know that. I don't want you getting hurt." It stuck in his throat to say it, but the bitterness stuck more.

And after Steve went to bed that night, Bucky took out the box of candy and the pricey perfume he had bought for her, threw them in the trash, and firmly promised to himself to never wait too long again.

But as he learned a bit later on, when they went back to double-dates, he might not have had a chance at all, because there was an unwitting element of truth to this cruel tirade.

"I can't exactly blame you, honey," Dottie consoled her as they stood in line for the ladies room, not knowing Bucky was just behind the thin divider leading to the men's. "If he does something like that again, I know this other fella —"

"Oh no, Dot, please… We're fine now. He explained things and… he's really sweet, I think he just had a moment of —"

"But just let me introduce you to Jim, see if you don't like him better."

"I… I don't know."

"He's a real charmer," Dottie grinned, "and he has these big, broad hands, jaw like an anvil. He just broke it off with Marcie cause she was a flirt."

He didn't hear anything next, but the girl must've shook her head cause Dottie asked, "You're sure?" and "Really? Well, if you change your mind…"

"Thanks, Dot," she lightly laughed.

"I don't know why you're so stubborn though, it's not like he's that far out your league. You just need to fix your hair a little bit and get a better brand of powder."

"It's not that easy."

"It's all it took me to get Bucky on my arm. That, and a better set of heels," she laughed.

"Yeah but you've always been pretty, Dot. Like, really pretty, and you know it. I guess some girls are for the James Barnes of this world, and some are the for the Steves."

She giggled as she said it, with not a hint of anger or resentment, and that's what stung the worst.

Bucky arranged to go see a late night movie with Dottie after that, while Steve and his girl went back to the apartment to listen to a boxing match on the radio and have some cherry sodas. Dottie went ahead to buy the tickets while Bucky walked them home, and after wishing him good night, she went upstairs to set things up. Steve was meant to go to the store and buy the drinks, but he stayed to chat with his friend a while.

"I can get some eggs and milk as well while I'm at it," he offered, swinging on his heels with his hands in his pockets.

"Sure."

"Or do we have enough for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Go ahead and buy them, pal," Bucky smiled, pretending to be less tired than he felt.

"Ok. And what about — darn!"

"What is it?"

"I just realized, I forgot to give her the keys," he said, taking a hand out of his pocket and holding them out. "I gotta get to the store, can you go up and give them to her?"

"Er, why don't —"

"You know I always trip on the stairs when I'm in hurry, Buck, they haven't changed the lightbulb yet. Don't make me do it."

"Fine, I'll go."

"I owe you big."

"You always do," he grinned, and took the keys from him.

Steve made off for the corner store, while Bucky started the long slow climb upstairs. It was completely dark inside at that hour, and the few candles some neighbours left to light the way had all gone out.

"Stevie, is that you?" he heard her call, standing right outside their door.

He kept one hand against the wall and walked his way toward her, stopping as he heard her whisper, "I think I lost the keys."

Blindly, she moved her hand forward, coming right across his chest. He felt her jolt at the unexpected contact, then burst into a giggle. Bucky could already feel the fanning of her breath right at the level of his chin. With an unseen smile, he took her hand, and placed the keys within it.

"Oh," she laughed. "You had them."

As her hand closed around them his own moved up her shoulder, fingers threading around her hair, and as he touched her jaw he felt her tilting slightly upward, shivering under the feeling.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

He felt the warming tickle of her breath as he leaned close until, through the pitch black, he touched his lips to hers. Bucky did it lightly, just a little, just enough to taste and sip a kind of love he'd never really had. She stood surprised but took his kiss, and he felt her smiling into it, even beginning to kiss back just as he was parting from her.

"Your lips are softer than before," she giggled, in a sweet but altogether crushing way that made Bucky's heart beat stronger. "Stevie?"

Her hand moved through the air to touch him but felt nothing anymore, and down the stairs the heavy steps echoed, moving downward and away.

[mrslilyrogers]

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)

Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all. 

Author’s note: I know I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sorry!! I loved these requests and decided to merge them together. Took a while to write, I haven’t had much inspiration. I’ll keep this short and hope you enjoy this!! Let me know what you think!  

Requests: hi!! first of all i adore your writing (esp. betrayal)!! id willingly chop two of my limbs in exchange of ur writing skills hahah!! can you maybe write a oneshot similar to take my breath away, and the reader and steve are dating, but they’re actually in steve’s dream(like in age of ultron) and she is sad that steve’s still hasn’t moved on from peggy?? and can you make it extra angsty?? sorry if this is too much hehe!! thanks btw :))

Hmmm maybe angst w/ Steve or Bucky where a misunderstanding/bad fight leads to the reader leaving the team?

“Damn it, Steve! Would you just listen? Where the hell are you even going?” your voice boomed around your small apartment as you breathed harshly, trying your best not to pull your hair out of frustration. 

At first, it had all been just petty disagreements, you and Steve letting off some steam after the snap happened. You had thought it was normal at the time, a coping mechanism that needed to be flushed out of your systems never expecting that it would last for as long as it has. Five freakin’ years. By now, you would’ve thought you’d realize how lucky you were to still be alive, to still be together while others couldn’t say the same. And yet...

“Geez, Y/N. I am! For the past 30 minutes! And I’m telling you now what I’ve told you from the start,  I am not ready! You gotta give me more time, doll.” He replied, his voice just a tad calmer than yours but you didn’t miss the tick in his jaw as he walked out of your shared room, shrugging into his jacket. You knew his anger was just brewing inside, ready to attack if you pushed just a little bit harder. After countless back-and-forths, this had become a routine between the two of you with Steve always taking the role of the aggrieved party, ending arguments with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes before he walked away, deciding he had something better to do with his precious time than fight with you. While you, on the other hand, always found that more infuriating, making you impatient and mean, baiting and nagging him until you wouldn’t even recognize the shrill and whine to your own voice.

“And when would that even be? It’s been five years since the snap. When will—”

“Don’t you dare bring that up!” his voice rose, eyes glaring at you as he whirled around, his jaw clenched. “Don’t use that excuse on me, you know damned well I know it. Why do you think I chose to move on and be with you instead of helping Nat bring them all back, hmm?” He continued mockingly as if you were stupid enough not to understand. 

This was it, what all your petty arguments had narrowed down into;

Despite what he said, he still wasn’t ready to settle down. 

“But what the hell are we doing now, Steve? We’re not getting any younger! I want to have kids, a family, with you!” You knew you sounded pathetic, and desperate all at the same time but you couldn’t help but continue, the pretty picture already clouding your brain, 

“Can’t you see it? Having children of our own, their drawings hung up on the walls, the dog you’ve been wanting to have since forever running around the house, family barbecues...” your voice trailed off, a lump forming in your throat, your eyes glazing over with unshed tears. It was all within your grasp, so easily reachable if only Steve agreed with you. If only he wanted it too. Anger bubbled up to the surface while he bristled, looking annoyed. 

 “We can have all of that, you know. What are you even waiting for? Will you ever be ready? Because it really feels like you won’t and I’m the only one who actually wants this,” You were unrelenting, thinking of Tony Stark’s family, how they had gone off the grid and had their own little piece of heaven. Crossing your arms, you knew you wouldn’t achieve anything by becoming a nag but your patience was already wearing thin. 

“Jesus, Y/N! Why would you even say that? Of course I want a family with you! I’m just not ready for that yet! Just give me more time,”

Shaking your head, you let out a defeated sigh and looked away from him. You could hear him grabbing the keys from the counter, exhaling loudly before he went up to you and ran his hands down your arms soothingly, willing you to understand. When you didn’t budge, he just pleaded as he always had, 

“I love you, you know I love you. But I need to get to this meeting, those people need me, Y/N. Could we please just talk about this later?” He moved his head lower to meet your eyes and even in your state of anger, you knew you couldn’t say no to that. He took your begrudged nod as an assent, kissing your forehead before he turned to leave. What else were you going to say anyway? He was going to lead a therapy session for people who had lost their loved ones. Guilt ate at you for keeping him here when he so desperately wanted to save the world. People needed him too, not just you. They hung on his every word. They needed their Captain America, their symbol of hope. While, here you were, acting like a child because he wouldn’t let you have your way. 

Letting out another sigh, your gaze stuck to the floor, berating yourself at how selfish you’d become. You knew what you were getting into when you dated him. You had no illusions of being the center of his universe, it was always going to be the people. But still, it would’ve been nice to be put first for once. You hated the tandem feelings of jealousy and guilt that always crept up on you after your fights. You just wished he understood that while those people needed their hero, you needed your Steve too. But as time passed, it seemed like the man and the hero were indistinguishable and you’d been deluding yourself into thinking it could be different. You’d just have to accept that too because living without him wouldn’t even be an option. 

He paused by the door, catching sight of your slumped shoulders. “Hey,” he said softly, striding back to you. 

“You know I love you, right?” he stroked your cheeks and you couldn’t help the turn of your lips. Nodding slowly, you rolled your eyes at how easy you were for him. 

 “I know. I’m sorry,” 

Ducking down to give you a quick peck on the lips, he reassured you again, “We’ll talk about this later, I promise,” then he gave you one last kiss to your forehead before he disappeared. But what once would’ve eased your worries did nothing to quell your nerves now. Your heart believed everything was alright but your gut said otherwise. 

_______________

He looked down at the worn, brassy compass in his palm, his mind years away from where he was, unaware that you were standing by the door. You watched his shoulders relax into a defeated sigh, his eyes never leaving her picture. You couldn’t remember when he ever looked at you like that, all the love and longing etched on his face. He brought his other hand up to caress the picture gently, as if he actually imagined she was with him, a small, sad smile forming on his lips. You felt the air knock right out of you while you scrambled out of there feeling as if you’ve intruded on an intimate moment. You couldn’t help the tears falling from your eyes while you convinced yourself it was nothing. He had just lost his best friends, she was a symbol of his past. He just missed that right? 

You paced around the kitchen, your mind running back to the times you’ve caught him staring at Peggy’s picture. All those times you pretended you didn’t notice how frequently he had been doing it these past few years. His voice, an echo in your head, 

“I’m not ready, just give me more time doll, please,” 

Closing your eyes, you buried your face in your hands. Oh, it would be so easy, you thought. All you had to do was get into his mind and see for yourself. One little, fast trip into his thoughts and you’d get your answers. He’d be none the wiser, no one need ever know except you. And your dignity, and your pride and your principles. Ugh.

He trusted you, you promised never to use your powers on him and yet, that was all you could ever think about now. Did he think of her when he thought of the family he wanted? Was it her face he saw, walking down the aisle to him? 

For the first time in your life, you hated your upbringing at the Xavier Institute. You hated the values and principles they instilled in you, the very reason you were adamant not to use your powers on the unwilling and unsuspecting for your own personal gain even though you were going crazy, craving for your own peace of mind. Deep down you knew, promise to Steve or no, you couldn’t go through with it. 

You looked at the clock, thirty minutes to go before his meeting ended. Grabbing your coat from the rack, you impulsively decided to go to him, promising yourself you weren’t going to nag and argue with him but have a normal conversation like you used to. You haven’t had a date in a long while anyway. Maybe a little spark of romance was all you really needed. 

_____________

Your steps echoed on the linoleum floor, walking past the empty hall to follow the directions to the room where the meeting took place. Rubbing your palms together, you spotted the room. The fluorescent lights hanging above casting a lonely pallor to the already gray walls while the rain poured heavily outside. The gloom, an inevitable reminder of what the world has become. It seemed everywhere people went, there was always a reminder of what they’ve lost. Even on an otherwise unblemished sunny day, the vibrancy was not the same, people were scarce and it was quiet. Too quiet. Which was why you were so adamant to continue on living, in order to honor the lives of the people you’ve lost. 

You could hear their faint voices outside the room. Your heart going out to those poor people who still held onto the past while you thanked your lucky stars you still had Steve.You fished for your earphones in your purse trying not to eavesdrop but his clear and deep voice interrupted you. Leaning against the wall opposite the door, you listened, a smile tugging on your lips while he commended the other person. He was always so good with words, always knew the right things to say and that never failed to make you proud. His words of encouragement lifted your spirits, making you stand a little taller, hope blossoming in the pit of your stomach. He talked about moving on, about finding purpose again. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

Your whole body went cold, the smile on your lips faltering, your hands suddenly gripping the edge of your blouse while his disheartened voice continued to try to reassure everyone including himself,

“I woke up 70 years later, you gotta move on. You gotta move on,”  

With a hand to your lips, you ran, your rapid, staccato steps filling the hall barely even muffling the sobs you desperately tried to hide. 

___________

Steve didn’t bother coming home straightaway after the meeting.  He told himself it was because he needed to check up on Nat despite the fact that he could’ve easily just called, despite knowing you were all supposed to meet for dinner in a few days anyway. He took his time getting to the Avengers Compound, embracing the uncharacteristic quietness of the city, giving him the chance to be alone with his thoughts. If he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t shake off the guilt that settled at the pit of his stomach at the thought of Peggy. The love of his life. Apparently, anyway. He had no idea where that came from, never really thought of it until it slipped from his mouth. And did he really feel that way? Was she really the love of his life? 

The thought of you came unbidden from his mind, your warm smile waking him up in the morning, your laughter setting the world to rights whenever he was feeling especially out of place. You’ve been through so much together, what you both had was real and it was beyond anything he could’ve imagined when he woke up from the ice and he knew he should take it a step further. He loves you, he is fully committed to you. There was nothing holding him back and yet… and yet, he still thought of her. He couldn’t help but think that if he had only stayed where he really was supposed to be, Peggy would’ve been the mother to his children, she would’ve been his wife. She would’ve been his life’s true love. But the very thought of that put a sour taste to his mouth, the truth was he could never picture his life without you. As much as he still dreamt of the past, how could it be the same if you weren’t there?

At first he thought falling in love with you was a balm to soothe his lost soul until he eventually realized you had crept up on him slowly but in a span of a heartbeat, wormed your way into his heart so suddenly he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment he knew he loved you. It was plain and simple, he knew it as he knew the sun rose in the east, he loved you. It was so unlike the way he fell for Peggy where all it took was one look and he was already drunk in love. 

Was it possible then, to be in love with two women? 

________________________________________

You were already in bed when Steve got home, feigning tiredness from the day when your heart was really beating rapidly in your chest. How could you face him now knowing you were second best? You could hear him in the bathroom, oblivious to your inner turmoil. When he was done, he gave you a quick kiss goodnight and went to his side of the bed, his back to you. You turned to face the wide expanse of his shoulders and wondered where the hell do you go from here. Would you really be alright living in the shadow of his ex, one of the world’s most accomplished women, so extraordinary that Captain America couldn’t even move on from her? Could you really leave him if it came down to it? 

A tear escaped the corner of your eye and you laid on your back, the darkness of the ceiling reflecting the heaviness in your heart. You must’ve stared at it for hours, wondering just how far away you were from the man right at your side. He was with you physically but his heart? You always knew deep down, it belonged to someone else. If he had a choice to go back, would he leave you? With the way things were going, you knew he would. In an instant. There was always a part of him that he closed off from you and ever since the snap, it only worsened. The fights, the distance, it all made sense now. Heck, even tonight, he didn’t even bother to ask how you were doing and accepted your lame excuse to get to bed early. It was the weekend, you literally had nothing to do the whole day and yet, it never even occurred to him that something could be wrong. For once, you were sorely tempted to use your powers on him. Hearing his even breathing as he slept didn’t make it any easier. It would be over before he knew it, what would be the harm in that? 

As if on cue, he turned and faced you. His long lashes resting peacefully on his cheeks, his lips slightly parted, he looked like a man who didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked younger, more like your Steve. The Steve you wished would let you in and give you the family you’ve always wanted. 

“Just a quick little trip, no one would ever know. What would be the harm in that?” the little voice in the back of your head taunted.

What would be the harm in that? 

With your resolve weakening, you jumped right into the abyss, entering the mind of the man of your dreams, hoping you were his too. 

______

The sun shone brightly through the open window, letting in the warm summer breeze while his favorite vinyl record played in the background. 

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long long time 

The air was crisp and the smell of pancakes and cinnamon wafted from the doorway of the kitchen into the living room of the small, suburban house. The yellow walls were adorned with children’s drawings with a few marker drawings on the wallpaper here and there. The faint sound of giggling could just be heard from where you stood by the stairs. Your children, you thought to yourself, a smile creeping up your lips. This was it. This was what you’ve been picturing too, what you’ve told him countless times over and over again. He dreamed of it too. You turned your attention to the living room, your heart giving a little leap at the mess. It looked like someone had tried to tidy up but gave up on the last minute, some toys still scattered about. You noticed the pet bed by the couch, and you couldn’t help but be excited and hopeful, it was everything you thought of down to a T. You went towards the paper and crayons on the low table between the couch and the fireplace, inspecting one of the children’s current drawings there. It was of a family, their hands holding each other while they smiled in front of the house, a little dog at their father’s side. At the bottom, a scribbly handwriting of a preschooler wrote; Mom, Sarah, James, Dad and directly below the dog, Sam. You laughed aloud at that, clutching the drawing, hoping you could keep it for yourself and willing it into existence. 

“Come on, dance with me,” 

You heard Steve’s playful voice coming from the kitchen. A woman’s laughter rang out, you could just imagine yourself shaking your head at him in response, but something about the woman’s laugh caught you in your tracks. A little too shrill, a little too melodic. You inched closer to the open door, your heart dropping to your stomach. There they were, the picture perfect couple.  He twirled her around, her red dress hugging her curves so effortlessly, while she drew her head back and laughed. The dimples on her cheeks deepening, her curls staying in place even when Steve maneuvered her around. They looked so beautiful together, his golden locks and smitten smile never once leaving her face, he never looked so happy. 

Not even when he was with you.

That realization hit you like a train. You couldn’t even remember the last time he looked at you the way he looked at Peggy now.  When was the last time you danced? When was the last time you acted silly together? When was the last time you were both happy? That was what hurt the most. You couldn’t even remember. It felt like a weird sort of deja vu except now, it was an actual woman instead of a picture on a compass. You tried to gather your pride and step away but you couldn’t, you were rooted into place, a sadistic part of you welcomed the pain because you should’ve known. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

You should’ve known.

 But instead, you choose to play the fool.

There must’ve been a shift in the air that only they understood because Steve gathered her in his arms now, their eyes locking into each other, gentle and longing. 

You'll never know how many dreams

I dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time

He rocked her back and forth, bringing her hand up to his chest, turning into action what words fail to describe. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his heart, savoring their moment. He leaned his head on hers too, a satisfied smile on both their faces as they continued to sway to the music. You had never felt as small as you did now. You felt like a thief, intruding on their moment, stealing his dream away. And that’s exactly what you were doing. That’s exactly what you are. You felt so dirty, a desperate, pathetic fly on the wall he couldn’t get rid of. And worst of all, you destroyed his trust too.

As if on cue, the colors started to change, the song distorting and shifting and in this moment you knew, you had to leave. 

You have to leave. 

Part Two

[thatesqcrush]

Why are some people deluded to think Sonny would ever want to be with a black woman over the sexy, blonde, queen Amanda? It is sad, pathetic, and embarrassing. Black women are not attractive. As a white woman I know you agree, especially when they lust after Rafael and Nick. YUCK!

I debated just deleting this and just making a post in response. But I have decided that all of my followers need to see the most disgusting, vile, racist anon that I received.

Gotta hide that racism under the anon tag! Oh anon, you’re a racist piece of shit. BRB, let me go get your white hood & cloak for you.

You are pathetic, sad and embarrassing. Please unfollow me stat. I don’t want you on my page. And if anyone who follows me agrees with this anon, you can unfollow me too.

There are a few points I also want to make:

1) National Loving Day was a week ago. Every June 12, we honor the United States Supreme Court’s 1967 decision to strike down laws in several states that banned interracial marriage. The decision was sparked by Loving v. Virginia, a court case involving Richard and Mildred Loving, an interracial couple from Virginia who married in 1958.

Sonny can ABSOLUTELY be with a black woman. Or a black man. Or any person regardless of race, gender, sexuality, etc. And I firmly believe this for anyone and everyone in the whole wide world. Love is love.

The fact that they didn’t make it clear that they broke up, so it looks like Sonny cheated. But this is a topic for another day.

2) Of all days to come into my inbox with this!! It’s Juneteenth. ITS JUNETEENTH!!! For those who don’t know, Juneteenth is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating emancipation of enslaved African Americans. It is also often observed for celebrating African American culture. Originating in Galveston, Texas, it has been celebrated annually on June 19 in various parts of the United States since 1866.

3) You attest that as a white woman, you know I agree. If you did know me, you would know that this is actually farthest from the truth. I am Latina. My bio says it. Right there on the front page. So you can’t deny you did not see it. While I may be a white passing Latina, my family comes in all colors. Do yourself a favor and look up the history of Puerto Rico. You do not speak for me. Not sorry.

Rafael and Nick, are both Cuban (Raúl & Danny IRL & as characters. Which means they too are POC. So it’s okay for people to lust after them but not for them to think Sonny wouldn’t be with a black woman? Like what kind of fucking ass backwards logic is this?

TLDR; you’re a racist, anon. Yuck.

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 2 starters

❝ in these books life seems so simple, but in reality… i can’t make head nor tail of it. ❞  ❝ listen to me. when the times comes, you gotta run and don’t look back. ❞ ❝ i ain’t afraid of dying. ❞ ❝ i’m still standing, which is an improvement on the last time you saw me. ❞ ❝ i still think about you. that was...that was quite a time. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ your father would rather you did not do anything so foolish. ❞ ❝ forgiveness, well...it’s just an easy way of saying ‘i don’t care no more’. ❞ ❝ i know you like to hide behind the angry moron act, but it’s a thin enough veneer. ❞ ❝ when somebody doesn’t lie in this world and you don’t lie to them, then together you can achieve great things and destroy great powers. ❞ ❝ i remain a fool, and i’m sure i shall die a fool, but i’m trying very hard to be something like the man you deserve. ❞ ❝ i am always honest, maybe not always good, but i'm always honest. ❞ ❝ why you got that guilty look on your face? ❞ ❝ i trust i will not make a god awful fool of myself once more-- but somehow i imagine i shall. ❞ ❝ please don’t go to any trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ you ain’t gonna die. not yet. ❞ ❝ feels like things have changed...the whole world has changed. ❞ ❝ i feel like we haven’t spoken for days. ❞ ❝ we’re thieves in a world that don’t want us no more. ❞ ❝ we can’t change what’s done. we can only move on. ❞ ❝ just do one thing or the other. don’t try to be two people at once. ❞ ❝ we’re more ghosts than people. ❞ ❝ how can romance ever be silly? it’s all we have. ❞ ❝ vengeance is an idiot’s game. ❞ ❝ i don’t think we can go much further on the horses. ❞ ❝ i'm surprised we escaped at all. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me...but you’re more than that. ❞ ❝ this is a new low, even by your standards. ❞ ❝ i do my utmost to avoid you. ❞ ❝ i thought the whole point was that this had nothing to do with you? ❞ ❝ i’m sorry to complain. it’s just so... ❞ ❝ i need you now...more than ever. ❞ ❝ face me to the west so i can watch the setting sun and remember all the fine times we had that way. ❞ ❝ do you ever miss home? must be hard, being so far away. ❞ ❝ you know, we’re gonna need to come up with a better story for that scar. ❞ ❝ there’s a good man within you...but he is wrestling a giant. ❞ ❝ you saved my life. you’re a good man. ❞ ❝ there’s only one of me. i don’t intend for them to know i’m coming. ❞ ❝ i thought you were trying to make me feel better. ❞ ❝ be loyal to what matters. ❞ ❝ you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you squeal before. ❞ ❝ i'm miserable. been a tough few days. ❞ ❝ i trust your judgement. always have. ❞ ❝ i'm just gonna...have a little sit down and...feel sorry for myself. ❞ ❝ i tried. in the end. i did. ❞ ❝ one day, folk will take orders from me...and trust me, it won’t be no laughing matter. ❞ ❝ here, take a drink of this. ❞ ❝ seems like there ain’t much else in this world except bastards, victims of bastards and the bastards who want to put the bastards in the ground. ❞ ❝ we’ll get off this mountain soon enough. ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept in three days. ❞ ❝ just thought you might’ve moved on by now. ❞ ❝ thanks for coming for me. ❞ ❝ you got sad eyes...like you’ve seen sad things. ❞ ❝ you always said revenge is a luxury we can’t afford. ❞ ❝ you don’t hire a saint to catch a sinner. ❞ ❝ you’re alive! oh, you’re alive! ❞ ❝ go. now. i’ll hold them off. ❞ ❝ are you okay? i mean you no harm. ❞ ❝ i'm nobody. ❞ ❝ what about you? you doubting me too? ❞ ❝ it’s enough to make a man drink. or worse. ❞ ❝ i knew not to trust, yet i had no choice. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no more time to talk. go. ❞ ❝ thank you, for your strength. it means a lot to me. ❞ ❝ firstly, we ain’t friends. don’t make no mistake on that subject. ❞ ❝ i'm so bored i’d rather be shot. ❞ ❝ it’ll mean a lot to me...please. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna sleep with your chest open if you ain’t careful. ❞ ❝ the bond we share, it’s the most real thing to me. i would kill for it, i would happily die for it... ❞ ❝ life is full of pain. but there is also love, and beauty. ❞ ❝ my pa used to say you stare into the fire long enough you can see the whole world pass by. ❞ ❝ whenever we happen to meet, you’re always helping people and smiling. ❞ ❝ do as you’re goddamn told. and shoot well. ❞ ❝ i guess he never outgrew his anger. kind of like you. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ you’re driven by powerful forces i scarcely understand. ❞ ❝ oh you fool. you sad, deluded fool. torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out you weren't neither of them. ❞ ❝ well, i think you’re as slippery as an eel in an oil slick, but still a man/woman. ❞ ❝ with you watching over me, i’d walk into hell itself. ❞ ❝ lack of something to feel important about is almost the greatest tragedy a man may have. ❞ ❝ when i was your age, i fought. i saw death. i have killed. ❞ ❝ i wish things were different. but it weren’t us who changed. ❞ ❝ nobody’s taking anything from me ever again. ❞ ❝ some jobs aren’t for saving and some legacies are for pissing on. ❞ ❝ you're my favorite parasite... no, wait, ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second-favorite parasite... i lied. ringworm, then, rats with the plague, then you. ❞ ❝ just leave it to me. i can talk a dog off a meat wagon. ❞ ❝ forgive me if i slip and stab you in the face. ❞ ❝ this place, ain’t no such thing as civilized. it’s man so in love with greed, that he has forgotten himself and found only appetites. ❞ ❝ shut up...you know, you’re not very nice to me. ❞ ❝ the amount of hell we’ve raised, we’re owed some back. ❞ ❝ i haven’t done anything wrong aside of not playing the games to your rules. ❞ ❝ don’t let yourself get killed...for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❞ ❝ when you fall, there’ll be a party. ❞ ❝ every day i didn’t kill you, is a day i saved your life. ❞ ❝ i can’t kill them all silently so, when they chase me, you go the other way. ❞ ❝ does this seem like a good time for sarcasm to you? ❞ ❝ usually i’m worse than the wolves. ❞ ❝ i don’t have to be careful. i have you as a friend. ❞ ❝ i wish i had acquired wisdom at less of a price. ❞ ❝ they’re chasing us hard, because we represent everything they fear. ❞ ❝ you know all that mattered to me was loyalty? it was all i ever believed in. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d say this but...it’s good to see you. ❞ ❝ we’ve all lived bad lives. we all sin...but i know you. ❞ ❝ i kill people. and maybe i should’ve killed you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you a sorry sight? ❞ ❝ your job’s starting the fights, it ain’t winning them. ❞ ❝ some big, loud mouthed bastard tried to rob me when i was out riding so i... well, you know how it is. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no shame in looking for a better world. ❞ ❝ i can hunt, carry a knife, and use a gun. ❞   ❝ ...is it too late for us? ❞ ❝ if the purpose of life was to be liked...it would be very boring indeed. ❞ ❝ i’ve been running for as long as i can remember. ❞     ❝ they turned me into a monster. ❞   ❝ i always wondered if i was unlucky...but maybe i’m just not very good. ❞ ❝ don’t kill yourself over pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folks. ❞ ❝ sorry if i seem a little desperate. i am a little desperate. ❞ ❝ if anyone gets close to me, they’re wanted too. and i can’t have you wrapped up in that. ❞ ❝ there’s all kinds of nasty people who want to speak to you. ❞ ❝ they won’t hear anything about you from me. ❞ ❝ tell me about you, darling and armed to the teeth like that. ❞ ❝ i also...found out some unsettling news about you. ❞ ❝ i don’t know how to say it...thank you. ❞ ❝ you...don’t like me much, do you? ❞ ❝ i can’t lie to you. i’m a wanted man. ❞ ❝ that’s quite a scratch you got there. ❞ ❝ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❞ ❝ i’m seeing things a lot more clearly now. ❞ ❝ where are you? can you hear me? ❞ ❝ i think someone saw some wolves, not far away. you should watch out. ❞ ❝ guess all i got now is doubt. doubts and scars. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t me who went and shot him. ❞ ❝ will you dance with me? ❞ ❝ i like you. you’ve got a kind face. ❞ ❝ i’m not a good man. not usually. ❞ ❝ there’s a lot i should’ve done and even more i shouldn’t have done. ❞ ❝ you are a compulsive liar. ❞ ❝ next time, i’ll slit your throat myself. ❞ ❝ as long as we get paid or you get shot, i’m happy. ❞ ❝ i'm not designed for this snow. ❞ ❝ you don’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to you. ❞ ❝ shut up you silly man and kiss me. ❞ ❝ who made you the messiah of these poor souls you’ve led so horribly astray? ❞ ❝ maybe it’s a sign. try to do the good thing. ❞ ❝ how many times do i gotta bury you? ❞ ❝ you are the only feller who could get half of their brain eaten by wolves and end up more intelligent. ❞ ❝ five thousand dollars? for me? can i turn myself in? ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging. ❞     ❝ we ain’t both gonna make it. ❞ ❝ i gave you all i had. i did. ❞ ❝ if we have to fight, we fight. If we have to run, we’ll run. if we must die, we’ll die. but…we’ll stay free. ❞ ❝ people call me lazy. i’m not lazy, just don’t like working. there’s a difference. ❞ ❝ i guess...i’m afraid. ❞ ❝ oh, i didn’t know i was talking to a lady. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel too good. ❞ ❝ you have finally lost your mind. ❞

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Steamy

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Romance 

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Public and Risky Nudity / Foreplay / Sex, Denial, Dirty / Degrading / Lewd Talk, Choking, Biting

Words: 6,483

Summary: For Bakugou’s 30th birthday, he decides to treat you both to a nice getaway to a spot up in the wilderness for whatever relaxing thing you decided to do. Massage, hiking, chilling in the hot springs... But at 2 in the morning, a bit tipsy and feeling like taking a risk, your brat of a husband drags you out of your room for a late night soak in those springs. It’s not just the water that ends up nice and steamy~

Art by me, @hvalrossart​ 

“Wait, you want to do what?” 

“I said I want to go out to the hot spring. Got bugs in your ears from hiking today or something?” 

You stared up at your lover in surprise as he came out of the bathroom of your little traditional old-style Japanese room, nestled at the far end of an inn just outside of Tokyo. The peaceful forest area was a perfect getaway for the two of you, and since it just so happened to be your husband's birthday, it was also his location choice. It had plenty of activities and relaxing things for you both to do over the four days you booked, and being on the second night, a couple of those things had already been done. The first day was nothing but relaxation, a spa day with bone popping massage included, and the second day was spent out in the wilderness hiking. 

In truth, you were exhausted from the activity, and the simple fact that you were still awake at two in the morning was enough to make you question your sanity. Yet here he was, saying that he wasn’t quite ready for bed, even after getting out of the shower and drinking a bottle and a half of sake between you. Perhaps it was the alcohol that made him want to take the risk, or maybe it was just that turning thirty made him feel invincible? Not like the great pro hero Bakugou Katsuki needed to feel even more invincible than his already huge ego deluded, but if anything were to boost it, his favorite sake would. 

With a huff and a pout, you narrowed your eyes at him, rolling over to lay on your back with your arms crossed defiantly over your chest. “No, I do not have bugs in my ears! I heard you just fine, I just can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth. It might be your birthday, ‘Suki, but we can’t just break the rules like that. We’ll get kicked out.” 

“No we fucking wouldn’t. A slap on the wrist, maybe, but they wouldn’t kick us out.” Towel still resting haphazardly on the top of his head, Bakugou took a moment to rub his wet blonde locks vigorously, giving you a chance to glance over his still damp, muscular figure. The sake may have been making him feel brave, but for you, all it was doing was making you feel handsy, and the way his arm and back muscles rippled with his movements was already making your core tingle. What was worse, he hadn’t yet touched you in a sexual way not once during this trip, making the sexy lingerie you had hidden in your suitcase useless so far. 

“Why don’t we just stay inside,” cheeks flushing as his crimson glare peered at you behind his bangs, you fiddled with the strap to your white bathrobe, bending your leg just a bit at the knee to show off the skin of your thigh. “We can just make it nice and steamy in here instead.” 

 Knowing smirk crossing his lips, Bakugou scoffed, tossing the wet towel away while keeping the other fashioned around his hips. “Tch, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Kneeling at the end of the futon where he stood, Bakugou grabbed your ankles and pulled you down towards him, making you squeak from the sudden movement and uncomfortable feeling of your robe bunching up under your hips. “For me to fuck that sweet little pussy of yours, huh?” Keeping your legs spread open with a grip under your knees, his lips began to travel across the skin of your inner thigh, leaving kisses, bites, and tender nibbles in his wake. “Is that what you’ve been waiting for?” 

Already, your heart was racing, and breath was beginning to grow heavy, the heat pooling between your legs and throbbing the closer he got. “Yes, Katsuki-” Your words caught in your throat as he pushed your legs back, spreading them open and exposing your scantily clad hips to him fully. The lace underwear did little to hide anything from him, and the darkness of the fabric between your legs was enough to give away how wet you were. 

“You’re such a naughty girl.” The smirk on Bakugou’s lips grew at the sight of you, and only for a moment, you thought there was a malicious gleam in his eye. “Already so fucking wet.” With a stronger push, he further contorted your body until your knees were on either side of your head, now hovering directly over you with his hips keeping your backside firmly in place. In this position, you were unable to move and struggling to make a coherent thought behind the pounding of your heart in your ears. It was matched with the throbbing between your legs as your body ached and twitched in anticipation of his next move, and as his lips came to hover over yours, the excitement in your stomach nearly bubbled out of control--

“Too bad,” Smirk spreading into a wicked grin, Bakugou found amusement in the sudden change in your expression, which fell in shock along with your stomach. “It’s my birthday, isn’t it? I decide when we fuck.” 

Your face flushing violently from frustration and embarrassment at falling for his fake advances, you squeezed your arms between your thighs, pushing back on his chest to try and get him off you. “Rude! Why would you tease me like that!? Damn it, you got me so horny, you prick!” 

Laughing, Bakugou wasn’t at all perturbed by the pressure on his chest or the kicking of your legs, keeping you in place as he smooshed rough and playful kisses all over your face. “What, babe, you really wanted it that bad?” 

“I do!” Whining with a pout, you glared up at him once he was done with his kiss attack. “I want to fuck… Please?” 

“Only if you go to the hot spring with me.” 

You should have known that was coming. Of course he’d be clever enough to use your need for pleasure to manipulate you into agreeing to go with him. If you were honest, you would have ended up going even if he hadn’t played this little trick, but now you had no choice, even if you were stuck between following the rules and being adventurous. On one hand, it would probably be really exciting, but on the other, it could go really wrong really fast. This entire place was public, and that included the hot springs. Sure, you could probably find a little corner that was tucked away, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t risky. 

Sighing heavily in defeat, you rolled your eyes, cupping both of his cheeks and squishing them together to pucker out his lips, which you kissed in attempted punishment. “Fine. Fine! You win, Mr. Stinky-Birthday-Brain.” 

“Stinky-Birthday-Brain?” Bakugou questioned as he kissed you again, releasing your legs to allow your body to lay normally. “That’s a new one.” Another series of kisses as you wrapped your arms around his neck, allowing him to lift you up and wrap his arms around your torso. “Not all that aggressive, considering I just gave you serious blue balls.” 

“You did.” A final kiss was given before he released you, allowing you to sit up on your own as he stood. “My lady-balls are aching. I gotta potty first before we go.” Using his steady grip to help pull yourself to your feet, you gave his back-end a firm smack before heading towards the bathroom. With sudden agility you didn’t think you possessed, you were able to leap away from his own swinging arm as he tried to land one on your ass, giggling as you fled into the bathroom. “Ooh, a swing and a miss! Loserrrr~” 

“Hurry up and piss before I change my mind and go by myself!” 

After a silent fight of sticking your tongues out at each other, you vanished behind the sliding door, unable to help the smile on your lips. Did his little trick annoy you? Yeah, of course it did, but his playful attitude was something that you couldn’t help but adore. Before the trip, he had been grumpy and at the end of his already thin patience with some drama going on at his hero firm, but the instant you both got out here, it was like he locked everything away. He was obviously determined to make this as good of a vacation as he could, and so were you. So, after taking a quick tinkle, you dug around in your suitcase that was in the closet connected to the bathroom. 

Finding the secret little lingerie set you had bought for him, you took a few minutes to change into it. Your body slipped snugly into the silk and lace, flattering your figure and accentuating all the little things he loved. You knew that clothes weren’t exactly allowed in the hot springs, but if you were going to go out there after hours, breaking one more little rule wouldn’t be all that bad. Besides, you knew it wouldn’t be on you long, not after Bakugou laid eyes on it. He’d be more likely to rip it off in seconds, as he had previous demonstrated with all your past sexy outfits. Much to your misfortune, he had a tendency to quite literally tear it off you in a frenzy of passion, and the delicate clothing usually never survived. 

Once you were set, you tied your robe back around you, making sure that there was nothing peeking out that could give away your secret. Hands washed, you popped on out of the bathroom, approaching your lover as he took another sip of what he had left in his sake cup. “You’re gonna be too drunk to go out!” 

“Am not. I’m not even tipsy, babe.” With just a little left, he handed it to you, letting you finish off the rest with a slurp. “Nice. You ready?” 

Giving a sigh, you set the little sake cup down next to the bottle, placing your hands on your hips. “Fine. Ready. If we get caught, I’m blaming it all on you, big guy.” You gave a playful tug to the strap of the robe he had put on, pushing up on your toes to kiss him. “I still can’t believe you really want to do this.” 

With a shrug, Bakugou led you over towards the door to your room, flipping off the light to shower you in darkness. “I don’t follow the rules all the time. Now shut up, and don’t trip.” Ignoring your nudge to his side in retaliation of him telling you to shut up, Bakugou slid open the door as silently as he could, peeking up and down the hallway. There wasn’t another soul in sight, and the lights were off in any of the other surrounding rooms. And so began your trek towards the springs, having to follow signs in the darkness to make sure you didn’t get lost or turned around. 

Eventually, you came upon the entrance to the hot springs area, which was a doorway blocked off by a gate that was effectively locked. That was quite pointless, however, as the gate only came up to your hips, and with Bakugou’s help, you were both able to get over it without a hitch. 

The closer you got to the springs, the more excited you became, but not exactly for the reason one would assume. No, you were freezing your ass off, the chilly spring nighttime air making you want nothing more than to be completely submerged in the hot water of the springs. You could tell Bakugou was decently cold as well, noticing his toes curl with the first step of his bare feet on the stone path. In the moment, you were surprised at how quietly he was able to walk around, considering his stature and the way he carried himself. It was probably his hero training, you assumed, but you couldn’t help but find it amusing at how incredibly different it was compared to his typical self. 

After walking for about five minutes and going through a final unlocked gate, you both reached the springs, which were deeper into the brush than you expected. Along with that, this smaller gate was decently creaky, so this gave you some comfort. Not only would no one be able to hear you if you were quiet, but you’d also be able to hear anyone coming in. So, after both of you took a final quick glance around, it was time. 

Bakugou took off his robe and tossed it onto a bench without a word, leaving you to watch his naked form as he stepped into the springs. Although you had seen him naked more times than you could probably count at this point, there was something different about this time, feeling your stomach bubble and cheeks flush hot against the chilly air. The entire environment was ridiculously romantic in a way that you hadn’t expected, with the moon illuminating from above and sparse lights beneath the water creating an ethereal glow. The water was murky in it’s typical white-blue haze, and the steam that rose around him created a damp sheen against his nearly flawless skin. 

How the heck did I get so lucky? He’s so stupidly cute! 

“You just gonna stand there staring at me, or are you gonna come in?” 

Physically twitching in shock from the sound of his voice, you hadn’t realized you had been just gawking at him, feeling your body flush in embarrassment. Fiddling with your wedding ring, you stuttered an apology, still unable to really pull your eyes away from his hips where the water came to a stop. The haze of the water made it impossible for you to see anything further, but that wasn’t necessarily what you were looking at, anyway. Just his stomach was enough to make you wet, and a twinge of further embarrassment hit you as you were suddenly reminded of the time you had brought yourself to orgasm by grinding on his abs. A stupid thing to remember in the moment, sure, but your frustration from his teasing in the room had begun to creep back beneath your skin and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to do that again. 

This time, you were fully pulled back into the moment as Bakugou flicked some of the hot water at you, which landed on the top of your chilled foot. “Babe, seriously, get your ass in here. Don’t chicken out on me now.”

“I’m not! I’m just admiring you, is that a crime?” Making your way over to the edge that had some stones as natural steps, you began to untie your robe, keeping it purposefully closed to hide the surprise beneath. “Besides, I have a gift for you.” 

“Oh, do you?” Bakugou sat down on a ledge, resting his arms up on the stone edge of the spring, smirk once again crossing his lips. “I don’t get to unwrap it myself?” 

“Oh, you will, ‘Suki.” As you let the robe fall loose around your body and slip off your arms to rest around your feet, it took every ounce of your self-control to not laugh at the way his expression changed, from a snarky grin to wide eyed shock. He hadn’t been expecting that for sure, for you to be dressed in something so sexy and sensual, so your little surprise had been a success. “What do you think?” Turning yourself around, you gave him a nice 360 view, even purposely bending over with your back towards him to pick up your robe and toss it over with his. 

“I think your fucking sexy ass better get over here.” 

The lustful growl in his voice made your skin tingle and you immediately found yourself following his direction, slowly beginning to descend the stairs into the water. Still, you wanted to tease him, to somehow get back at him for what he had put you through earlier, so you moved slowly with a deliberate sway of your hips. “Or else?” 

“You don’t want to know what-- fuck, babe--!” 

Suddenly, your heel slipped on a rock, sending you tumbling backwards and scrambling to catch onto the edge of the spring so you wouldn’t fall into the water with a loud splash. Now posed with your arms awkwardly behind you and legs spread to support your body, you could only watch as Bakugou ducked nearly all the way under the water, hand over his mouth as bubbles rippled around his face. He was laughing at you!

“Katsuki, don’t laugh!” You hissed at him as loudly as your trembling embarrassed voice and conscious need to be quiet would allow you. “I was trying to be sexy!” 

Still struggling to not laugh with the water now all the way up to his nose, Bakugou shook his head, holding up a hand to tell you to wait. Huffing, you flopped to sit on one the stairs, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at him with a beet red face. You couldn’t believe he was laughing at you like that! What if you had really fallen or busted your head on the rocks? It was making you feel incredibly stupid and klutzy, wanting to just go back into the bedroom and hide under some blankets for an eternity. 

“Babe,” Bakugou somehow spoke between trying to control his urge to laugh, pushing himself into a deeper section of the pool to where the water stopped at his chest. “You’re fucking incredible. Are you okay?” 

“Incredible?!” Your cheeks somehow flushed darker, the heat spreading all the way to your ears. “I could have died! Don’t laugh at me, that was so embarrassing!” 

“You wouldn’t have died! Come here.” Grin on his face, Bakugou waved you over, keeping one arm outstretched to welcome you. Although you were sick to your stomach with shame, you stood, carefully making your way further into the pool. Thankfully, the bottom was much easier to walk on compared to the deviously slick stairs, so you were able to reach him without any other slip ups. You were surprised to find that he was waiting at the edge of a drop off, where the water line was at your belly button while for him it was up to the middle of his chest. It was odd to be taller than him, but you were more focused on still being extremely flustered, even as his hands came to rest on the sides of your thighs. 

“Are you okay? That was the most graceful thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“I’m fine,” mumbling your response as you glowered down at him, you placed your hands on his cheeks, squishing his face. “You’re so mean… laughing at me like that.” 

Leaning forward, Bakugou kissed your stomach affectionately, carefully pulling you a bit closer to the edge of the drop off as his hands slowly began to slide up the back of your thighs. “It was funny, babe. Besides, it’s not like it happened in front of a bunch of people. It was just me, and I’ve seen worse.” Before you could complain, his hands finally reached your backside, fingertips slipping beneath the lace panties to squeeze your plush curves. “But never like this,” His low voice became tinted with that lust from before, the deep purr and his lips against your skin making you tremble. “You’re so fucking cheeky, wearing an outfit like this out here. I fucking love it.” 

Small smile crossing your lips, you ran your fingers through his hair, slicking it back with the water that dripped from your fingertips. “I wanted to surprise you. I figured this would be more fun rather than just waking you up with it on. You like it?” 

“I think it’s my favorite one you’ve ever bought.” Bakugou’s hungry crimson eyes scanned every inch of your torso, following his hands up your sides. The water made the already form fitting lace stick against your skin, showing every curve and form of your body. He seemed mostly interested in your breasts, the thin fabric taut against your erect nipples. Hands caressing and squeezing them with burning palms, you couldn’t resist a soft gasp at the feeling of his hot tongue rolling over one of the sensitive buds, suckling and biting with the fabric still in place. The other was at the mercy of his fingers, which pinched and softly twisted. The mixed sensation of pain and pleasure already had you to the point of panting, your heartbeat once again matching the throbbing between your legs. 

Having to just stand there waiting for him to make a move was almost unbearable, wanting nothing more than to have him inside you. “Katsuki-” You moaned softly with a particularly hard pinch. “I can’t take it…” 

“What is it you can’t take?” Gripping your hips, he urged you to take a step forward off the ledge, guiding your body down until you rested against him, legs around his waist. Already, you could feel his cock pressing against your thigh, hard and ready, but he made sure you couldn’t move your hips anywhere as he gripped them tightly. “Tell me.” 

Digging your nails into the skin of his shoulders, you weren’t aware that he had been walking somewhere until your back was pressed against the stone side of the pool. His lips and teeth were now teasing the delicate skin of your neck, making your body twitch with sudden harsh nibbles or cripple against him with full on bites. It was so difficult to find the breath to answer, your mind growing as hazy as the water around you. “I… I need you inside me, please don’t make me keep waiting.” 

“I already told you in the room,” prying you off him, Bakugou lifted you up and placed you on the ledge, making sure you were positioned to the very edge and hips just barely above the water. “I’ll decide when it’s time for me to fuck you.” Holding your legs up and open with a grip behind your knee, you were forced to lean back on your hands, pouting at his mean and rough demeanor. On top of that, it was extremely cold out of the water, making you shiver. 

“Mean… It’s cold up here.” 

“Fuck, this outfit looks so good on you like this, all wet and stuck to your skin.” Ignoring your complaint, he once again ran his tongue over one of your erect nipples, spending some time abusing it before he started to make his way down your body. “You’re so fucking sexy, babygirl…” 

The praise surprised you, bringing a new heat to your cheeks and fluttering to your stomach. Releasing your knees, his hands slid down the outside of your thighs to your hips, and by the time they were in his grip, his head was between your legs. Letting them rest over his shoulders, you bit down hard onto your bottom lip as his tongue ran along your sex, teasing your clit and wet folds that were just on the other side of the lace. It was an odd sensation, the pressure against the sensitive button making you wiggle, but it still wasn’t enough as you craved the direct contact. 

Watching him over your heaving chest, you jumped and gasped at a sudden rough tug, the ripping of fabric followed by a sharp movement of his head. Growing impatient, he had torn it open with his teeth, creating a gap that exposed your entire twitching pussy to him, startling you while he was at it. “God, Katsuki, give me a warning next time-- a-aha! N-not so much, Katsu, my voice--” Covering your mouth with one of your hands, you trembled in place as he zeroed all his attention onto your clit, eating you out with hungry vigor. The cold that had been prickling at your skin was no longer on your mind, the heat from his wet and expertly skilled tongue rolling along every inch of your skin. 

 It was difficult to control the gasps and moans against your palm, your body trembling in his grip while you watched his every move and melted into the pleasure. The flicking and swirling of his tongue around your clit was soon joined by his hand sliding up to your breast, squeezing and teasing your now extra sensitive nipples. The other hand, however, vanished beneath the water, and the fire in your body swirled into an inferno once you realized what he was doing. His shoulder and arm pumped in a rhythmic motion, immediately giving away that he was jacking off.

Unable to take your eyes off him, you envisioned his cock in his grip, rock hard and throbbing with his own need for pleasure. Those hard, prominent veins. The pearling precum dripping so deliciously from his blushing, aching head. The length. The girth. Fuck, it was too much! Just imagining it all turned you on enough to make you cum on the spot, and so you did, your thighs squeezing around his head as your hips arched up into him. As if he were frustrated that you came so quickly, Bakugou growled against his efforts, removing his hand from your breast to force one of your legs out to the side. 

“You fucking horny bitch, cumming so fast.” Before you could really recover, his tongue was back at it, but now paired with his middle and ring finger plunging into your depths. Curved at just the right angle, he fingered you rough and deep, sending your body into a new round of ecstasy. Unable to stay sitting up, you fell back to lay on the grass and stone, clasping both of your hands tightly around your mouth. In and out his fingers ravaged your clenching cunt, building up your pleasure to a peak even higher than what you had just experienced, and before you knew it, you were cumming again. 

This time, it was different, an intense pressure releasing as your hips arched and your body jerked uncontrollably. The euphoria had you nearly screaming into your palm, eyes rolled back and ears pounding with your heartbeat. And yet, you could still hear the sound of rippling water and Bakugou’s deep growl of satisfaction, the vibrations of his voice tickling your clit. 

“What a good girl, squirting for me like that.” Sitting up, he gave your twitching and pulsing pussy a few good slaps, forcing a gasp from you and an involuntary clenching of your thighs. Removing your hands from over your mouth, you ignored the wet feeling of saliva that coated your palms, pushing yourself up on your elbows to look down at him between your trembling legs. 

“S-squirting? I did?” 

Smirking, Bakugou brought the two fingers he had fucked you with to his mouth, sucking them clean before licking his lips. “You did. That’s just how fucking horny you are. What a great birthday gift, to see my girl in a sexy outfit and watch her squirt for the first time. We’ll have to try that again.” 

Sitting up further, you let your legs slip back into the water, quick to find his cock and nestle it between your feet. With slow movements, you stroked up and down along his length, leaning forward to kiss him passionately. Cupping his cheeks, you found that he was actually quick to give in to you, welcoming your tongue as it danced across his lips. You loved the taste of yourself on him and how fierce he was with the combined pleasure of you stroking his cock, even biting down onto your bottom lip when you began to stroke him faster. 

“Mm, fuck, babygirl…” Bakugou growled against your lips, gripping onto your hips to scoop you up and back down into the water, giving you access to grip him with your hands instead. “That’s it…” He was so hard, throbbing and strained, and in that moment of stroking him with a tight grip, you realized that he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time. Was it the outfit? The scenery? The alcohol? Probably a combination, but it made it all the more exciting for you. 

“You cock is so hard, ‘Suki,” you nuzzled your nose against his, only teasing him with the thought of kissing you. “How do you want to fuck me, birthday boy?” 

Before he could answer, a sudden sound of rustling foliage and the clicking of a gate shutting made both of you freeze, quickly looking towards the walkway. The instant the glare of a flashlight was visible on the bushes, Bakugou immediately went into panic mode, putting his arms around you tightly as he shifted you both to the back end of the spring as silently as he could. You didn’t move or protest, clutching onto him as you watched with held breath for the person to appear around the corner. 

Had you both been too loud? Or was this someone doing a nightly routine? Maybe it was more rule breakers, and you’d be forced to go back to your room, or worse, have to share the space and postpone the fucking you had been dying to receive. 

Finding a little nook in the spring that provided a decent amount of cover, Bakugou turned you and pressed your front against the stones, resting himself against your back with his head beside yours. Surprisingly, the area he picked was pretty deep, and you could barely touch the bottom with the tips of your toes. Bakugou could stand steady, however, holding you up with his body and his head resting on your shoulder, watching the movement of the light closely. 

Although you knew you should stay focused on trying to hide and stay silent, his cock resting between your legs and up against your aching pussy wasn’t helping. The bobbing of your bodies against the movement of the natural spring jets was making your clit stroke against him erratically and with varying pressure, constantly teasing at the pleasure you wanted so badly. Seeming to become quite frustrated with it himself, Bakugou gripped your hips, lowering you both down a bit more as a person finally appeared from the pathway. 

At first, the man just stood there, using his flashlight to look around curiously. The first time the light passed over where the two of you were hiding, you felt your stomach drop. But, when it went by again and the man began to walk around instead, you felt a bit of relief that you were indeed hidden well enough. 

“Fucking prick…” Bakugou growled low in your ear, digging his fingers into your hips. Flushing, you turned your head a bit, pressing your cheek against his to try and comfort him. In return, he pressed his lips against your skin, one hand softly sliding up your stomach where he could reach. As it traveled back down, you had to suppress a squeak as his fingers went straight to your clit, rolling and stroking it with a roughness that matched his frustration. At first, you tried to keep most of your focus on the prowling stranger, who was walking dangerously close to the back of the springs. Though, he couldn’t reach the area you were, as the bushes and other foliage could grow freely. 

This simple fact was sparking a lot of confidence in your husband, who nibbled at your neck right below your ear as he spoke again. “Stick your ass out, baby.” 

Again, you knew that it was dangerous and pushing the already stretched limits of your luck, but you’d be damned to not listen to him when he spoke to you like that, the throbbing returning just from the simple demand. Swallowing hard, you did as you were told, arching your back for him. 

You could feel him smirk against your skin, a low and satisfied hum resonating deep from within his chest. 

“Don’t scream.” 

Right as his words registered in your mind, they were lost to the feeling of his cock sinking inside you. Slowly, inch by inch, until his hips were flush with yours and there wasn’t a single crevasse of you left untouched. Already trembling, your body ached desperately to move, but all you had the energy to do was wait, feeling his cock pulse against your clenching walls.

Don’t scream… Yeah right! Katsuki, you’re the worst! With the first light rocking of his hips, you bit down onto your bottom lip to try and keep yourself silent, resting your forehead against the stones in front of you. Hold it in! 

With a quiet groan of pleasure, Bakugou kept a tight grip on your hips, moving slowly and with long strides to prevent unnatural movement of the water. Pulling out all the way to the tip with each thrust, you were already made breathless by how deep he dug his cock into you. Every time his tip kissed your cervix, your pussy clenched around him, as if your body was doing everything it could to keep him in place. 

It feels so good… So hot! 

Clamping your teeth together, you couldn’t only focus on the stranger still walking around for a second, worried that any little slip of your concentration could bring about your demise. 

“Your pussy is so fucking tight, baby…” Bakugou growled in your ear, using that teasing and low voice that he knew set you off. “You like my cock inside you?” 

Digging your nails into the stone you held onto, you could only nod, knowing that if you opened your mouth, your voice would slip. Bakugou wasn’t having it, though, picking up his pace. 

“Answer me,” he growled, desperate to hear your voice. Whimpering, you watched your unwelcome company go back towards the entrance to the springs, his flashlight landing on your discarded robes. 

“K-Katsu, I can’t--” You were able to whisper in a trembling voice, promptly pressing your lips into the back of your hand as you were given a punishing bite to your neck, his sharp teeth digging into your skin. The spike of pain only made you arch your hips up higher for him, loving the fluttering of your stomach as it mixed in with the pleasure. 

“Damn it! Whoever closed left these, I guess…  I’ll have to look at the schedule.” 

Your teary gaze looked up momentarily in worry, watching as your robes were picked up and carried away. Bakugou didn’t seem to care or even notice, his fingers so tight against your hips you knew that you’d end up with bruises along the soft flesh. His teeth at your neck were just as dangerous, scraping against your skin with each rocking movement of your bodies. 

 “You better fucking tell me, or I’ll cum and leave your slutty pussy aching.” 

Knowing that he wasn’t lying, as he had done that to you on more than one occasion when he didn’t get the reaction he wanted, you caught his crimson glare over your shoulder, trying to find just a second when your voice wasn’t trembling so you could answer him. It didn’t help that he only fucked you harder the longer you waited, the knot beginning to twist in your core making it so difficult to focus. 

“I-it feels good, ‘Suki--” You began to feel dizzy, leaning forward against the rocks as your entire body began to feel numb with only the tingling pleasure pricking along your nerves. “It feels so good… Your cock… I-it’s so big, I can’t think--!” Again, you pressed your mouth against the back of your hand, though this time you clamped your teeth around your own skin, whimpering and moaning as softly as you could. 

The clanking of the gate shutting was barely noticeable to you, but Bakugou instantly took the pleasure to another level, bringing one foot up to rest on a rock for better leverage. Immediately, the spike in pleasure made you lose control of your voice, turning your hands around to cover your mouth before you screamed out into the cold air. Obviously satisfied that he had gotten more out of you, Bakugou chuckled, a deep groan against your ear. 

“Damn right, my little cock hungry slut. You like when I fuck you hard?” 

“Yes!” 

“You want to cum?” 

“Y-yes! Yes, Katsuki-- a-ah! I want to cum! Please, please--!” Your voice was cut off as one of his large hands came up and wrapped around your throat, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure to make your already dizzy mind grow lightheaded. The feeling like you were suddenly floating with the lack of oxygen, the pleasure and the sounds of his grunts in your ear made the knot in your core tighten rapidly. As your eyes rolled back and your nails dug into the skin of his arm, you were in a cloud of bliss before it exploded, making your body tremble and wiggle in his grip from the strength of the release. 

Even his voice, a deep groan and growl could barely pull you back, put the prolonged pleasure as he continued to fuck you against your constricting walls did. “Fuck, babygirl, that’s it! You’re such a dirty girl, cumming just ‘cause I’m choking you.” As his grip tightened on your neck, his thrusts became rougher and erratic, further displacing the water around you and forcing you up tighter against the side of the springs. “Here’s your reward--” 

Digging himself as deep into your throbbing cunt as he could, you could feel his release inside you, his cum even hotter than the water. It made you shiver, smiling and sighing softly in happiness and satisfaction along with his own moans into your shoulder. As if another person took control of his body completely, he caressed and hugged your body back against his gently, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. It wasn’t strange for him to become so soft after sex, but damn, was it cute. It made your heart flutter like you were a young person in love.

You were, just so absolutely in love with him, and his adoration for you was made just as clear with the gentle kisses he trailed across your skin. 

“Damn it, babe… You had me so fucking turned on, I could barely hold it until you finished.” 

Giggling softly, you rested your head against his. “Well, then I think your birthday surprise was successful.” 

“It was. This outfit is damn perfect on you. I can’t guarantee I won’t pounce on you back in the room.” 

“I wouldn’t complain. But uh… there is one problem about going back, love.” 

 “Hm?” 

“That guy… took our robes.” 

“He did?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, babe!” 

“Let’s hope the cold doesn’t freeze your dick off.” 

[uwurakax]

teardrops on my guitar ♡

pairing: semi x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // unrequited love // pining ♡

summary: it was like the plot of any rom com; two kids, a boy and a girl who were best friends since childhood and inseparable. you fell in love with him, and maybe he could’ve loved you too. such a shame he grew feelings for someone else ♡

word count: 1.7k ♡

author’s note: i love the pretty setters so much why am i doing this t-t which one next? lolol jk - not proofread sry. also wtf tryna write this on the train then some nub slams into my seat from behind dude u wot ♡

♡ (inspired by teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift) ♡

“What’s this?”

“A flower duh”

“But.. why...?”

“My dad gives them to my mum. He says he loves her after”

“But why are you giving it to me?”

“Because we love each other right?”

“Yeah”

“And one day we’ll get married and stuff”

“Hahaha, yeah! And then you give me all the flowers!”

A sweet memory, one from many years prior had always managed to pop into your mind at the most random times. You wished it didn’t, an adorable and innocent reminiscence had no place here, only offering confusion and complications. Semi Eita is your best friend, you wouldn’t let your feelings ruin your friendship with him.

Sometimes you’d wonder what would happen if you did actually confess to him. Wondering if he actually did remember the childish promise the two of you made. Neither of you had known of the power and meaning of the words uttered between you at barely 6 years old. The innocence of it all turned into something different.

Something deeper.

You also wondered if he would’ve looked at her. It was way too easy to fall into the mindset of ‘if I had told him, would he have looked at me the way he does her?’. ‘If I said my feelings sooner, could he have held me the same?’.

If I had told Semi I loved him, would he kiss me like that too?

There was way too many ifs going through your head, it was a marvel you could concentrate on anything else. At least during these moments your heart had some reprieve, a minuscule break of the pain you had to endure everyday you saw him with her.

Everyday during lunch, she sat next to him. The couple sitting opposite you at the table and you absolutely loathed it. It didn’t seem fair, the two of them being all lovey dovey, the sight of a picture perfect couple. Flaunting the perfect love they shared to anyone and everyone who saw. It just sucked that you were in the front row.

Everyday at practice she was there, cheering on Semi. Her yells and squeals echoing against the court walls. They easily overshadowed your silent ones. She’d jump excitedly next to you, clapping and screaming for the team. If you squinted, you could’ve pretended that the warm smile he threw over at the both of you was for you only.

You knew better though. Knew that any affection of love held was hers, and only hers. Knew the cheeky winks and blown kisses were reserved only for her. Knew that the uncontrollable feelings you felt for your best friend would never be reciprocated.

For only small moments, you could delude yourself into believing that Semi Eita had loved you the way you loved him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Jogging towards you, you handed Semi his water bottle, a small smile tugging on your lips. He wasn’t looking at you though. Honestly he never looked at you anymore, not with her around. Even when she wasn’t his eyes scanned for her. Like nothing else even mattered as long as she was there.

You had to hold back a sigh, quietly watching as he stared at her with such loving eyes. You wanted to hate it. Absolutely despise the way he looked at her, but you couldn’t. He looked so happy. Like a scene from a romance movie, he eyed her as if she was the sun, and everything just revolved around her. The whole nine yards of feeling goosebumps and a quickening heartbeat, Semi felt it all.

You wondered if she even knew the adoration he held for her. Despite her back being turned, despite the fact that she was engaged in conversation with someone else, Semi was undeniably smitten.

“You know, I think she’s the one” Semi whispered to you. This was the harsh reality of it all. No matter how much you wished, Semi Eita just wasn’t meant for you.

“You think so?” You tried to hide your exhaustion, numbness taking over your body. You could still feel the pinpricks of heartache however, no matter how much you tried to push it down. And sooner or later, it would overwhelm you until you buried your face into your pillow and cried til you fell asleep. That was a problem for future you though.

“Yeah, I do” he smiled wistfully at her, your heart fracturing little by little. You knew that look all too well. The look of longing, admiration and pure love. Recognised it all to well, because it was the way you looked at him. In class, at lunch and during practice. Whenever he wasn’t looking, you’d lower your wall by the tiniest bit.

You weren’t unknown to the fact that she looked at him exactly the same way too.

Whenever he was concentrating on his work, his serves or chatting with his friends, she’d gaze at him with the same affection that was unknown to Semi himself. It wasn’t hard to be envious. Not just because you were in love with Semi too, but to find something so special was so incredibly rare.

“I’m really happy for you Semi, I’m glad you found her.” You looked away, not wanting Semi to see your face. Sure that if he saw your eyes, he’d see the heartbreak swimming beneath the glistening tears that had just barely started to form.

“Semi!” You heard her squeal, bouncing her way to the both of you and throwing herself in his arms. It truly was unfair how they seemed to meld together so well. Like ying and yang, the moon and tides. You couldn’t have one without the other, so complimentary in existence.

You tuned them out, not wishing to subject yourself to anymore heartache for the day.

“You should join us Y/N! We don’t hang out much and I wanna get to know Semi’s best friend more” she smiled. Her wonderfully radiant smile beamed at you. Pearly whites shining under the lights, it was like God himself blessed her, an invisible spotlight on her at all times. Guess God really did have favourites, and she was impeccable.

“Ah I’d love to but I really have to get this homework done or I never will. Plus don’t wanna intrude” you shyly said. You didn’t know how much you would’ve been able to take.

“Alright fine but next time! Gotta promise ‘kay?” She giggled and snuggled up to Semi’s side.

“Of course, it’s a promise”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You were slow packing up your books and pens, the lunch bell normally alerting your body to speed your way to your lunch table to prolong the little break you did get.

When you finally did make it to your friends, you noticed Semi hadn’t arrived yet, and the only open seat was next to her. With a quiet sigh, you reluctantly sat down.

Opening your school bought bento, you picked at the egg, too exhausted from everything and just not being in the mood to eat.

“Y/N, you alright?” Her super sweet and feminine voice rang in your ear. Honestly, it was just grating to you now. You plastered on a fake smile.

“Yeah, sorry just super tired” you continued to stare at your food, probably looking like you hated the mix of meat and vegetables. Just for today, you didn’t want to pretend to be okay. Pretending that you were happy for your best friend. Pretending that you weren’t in love with him. Pretending that you didn’t hate his girl even though she did nothing to warrant any form of hatred from you.

“Guess who!” You saw Semi over your shoulder, playfully covering her eyes and hiding one arm behind is back. She giggled out his name, pulling his arm off and giving him a quick peck. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, their public display of affection eating away at you, and making you more infuriated and annoyed.

Semi pulled a beautiful bouquet from his back and handed them to her, her eyes widening in surprise.

Flowers huh?

“Wow Semi, these are gorgeous! But you didn’t have to..” she stared starstruck, unable to look away at the assortment of flora. Pinks, reds and whites decorated the bouquet, and were wrapped in a gorgeous purple cellophane.

“I know, I wanted to. You do give flowers to the person you like right?”

And just like that, your heart completely shattered.

She gave Semi another peck, thanking him for the thoughtful gesture.

You quickly arose from your seat, throwing your napkin and chopsticks into your bento, packing it up and quietly leaving the table.

“Hey, where are you going?” Semi called out to you, both of them looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, just need to go to the bathroom real quick” and you scurried off, throwing away your barely eaten meal with a bit more force than necessary.

When you finally made it to the bathrooms, you slammed the door and leaned your back against it. You started to inhale deeply, the once cute memory that brought you happiness now only gave you pain. You pulled the toilet lid down and sat, not caring if it wasn’t as hygienic as it should’ve been.

Curling your knees into your chest, you buried your face in them and let out the anguish and hurt that had been waiting to spill over. The hot burning tears that you only had yourself to blame for, because you were the idiot who fell in love with their best friend.

You cried until your eyes felt swollen and heavy, the constant friction of repeated rubs on the sleeve of your blazer added to the redness in your eyes. You looked down at your black polished school shoes, unaware of how much time had actually passed. It didn’t matter anyway.

Steadily, you got up from the seat. Once you left this bathroom stall, you’d never cry over Semi Eita ever again. You’d be the best friend, the one who would always be happy for him; and you wouldn’t fake it this time. You’d actively and attentively listen to him about his relationship, no longer going to feel bitter. You’d smile and cheer, and be the most supportive you could be, how you should be. They deserved that.

You’d let Semi go.

Perhaps tonight, with the newly made promises to yourself, you’d finally be able to get some sleep.

[ka-za-ri]

Personal Assistant Pt. 6

Oh wow, y’all still here? The filth hasn’t driven you away yet? Well, that’s good to hear bc we’re about to get real nasty up in here. Taglist at the end.

Part 1: here Part 2: here Part 3: here Part 4: here Part 5: here Part 7: here Crossposted to Ao3: here

Pairing: Barbatos x Reader   Lucifer x Diavolo x Reader Wordcount: 5,300 ish Genre: Dirty, filthy smut Tags: Multiple Orgasms, Demon sex, Rough sex, Endless sex, Size Kink, Double Penetration, Double Vaginal Penetration, Mirror Sex, threesome Summary: An emergency arises and you must leave the office to assist a sister company in dire need.

Business Trip

The best time to break a human was after they had been lulled into a sense of false security.

Lucifer was oddly gentle the following weeks after having shared you with Diavolo. His demands felt less taxing on your body whenever he asked you to service him. He seemed to be more open to expressing how good you made him feel; and that fact alone made your heart sing. It gave your body time to recover from how roughly you were taken that night. Even after a whole weekend of rest, he could tell there was a bit of a limp in your gait.

The attraction you felt towards him continued to intensify when you noticed just how gentle of a lover he could be when he wanted to be. You were so used to being pushed to your limits every week that the momentary break in how you were treated left you feeling so appreciated by him. Even if it was just an illusion; you wanted to just believe he cared. 

You fell into a lull of comfort, expecting love making and not just a fuck out of him. His recent behavior had shown you that he was capable of having feelings for you. Or, at least that was what you had assumed. With your thoughts being clouded by your emotions, you deluded yourself into thinking that he was doting on you because he loved you as much as you loved him. 

If only you knew he was only biding his time until you were in the perfect state to break.

Emergencies never happened in the office. Not when Lucifer was in charge at least. So, when you got into work one day and he was angrily speaking to someone on the phone, you knew something major had happened. You waited patiently for him to finish before asking what happened and if there was any way you could help. 

“I need you to go somewhere for me. Consider it to be a business trip. ” He said, irritation clear in his voice. “It’ll only be for a day or two.” 

“Of course, where will I be going?” 

“Diavolo’s office.” He stated bluntly. Lucifer took a few deep breaths to soothe his temper before continuing. “Something’s happened to his own assistant and he’s too booked to handle the issue.” He heaved a sigh and shrugged. “You’re the only one we can trust to help in this situation.” 

You blinked, not sure how to decipher his words. Figuring it would be best to take it at face value; you moved to start packing things up for a business trip. Your mind reeled at possible hidden meanings and the intentions behind his request. You had never left his side before. Whatever was going on, it must have been a major issue to put both their reputations at risk. Nothing like this had happened before; so, you were rather lost in regards as to what to bring with you. In the end, you settled for a notepad and some pens. If Devilgram’s offices were anything like yours, they would be well equipped for you to do managerial duties without issue. 

“I have a ride arranged for you already. It should take a few hours to get to the office with traffic the way it is. Diavolo will fill you in on what you need to do.” Lucifer’s composure had returned and he gently ushered you to the elevator. “I’ll come get you later after hours. Just don’t disappoint me.” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

“That’s what I like to hear.” He walked with you all the way to the black company car that was waiting in the parking garage for you. “Ah... “ he stopped you right before you went in. “Remember, you represent me. So be sure to do your best, no matter what.” 

“Yes, Lucifer. I’ll make you proud.” You reassured, getting into the car and preparing for the long ride through congested city traffic. 

~~ 

If there was one way to describe Diavolo’s office, it would be: chaotic. As soon as you walked in, there was a flurry of papers being shuffled, a loud curse followed by an equally loud laugh and the sound of something solid being kicked. Diavolo appeared behind what looked like a mountain of paperwork, sheepishly running his hand through his hair. “Oh, you’re here early. Good.” He started walking you to a separate corner of his office, talking a mile a minute. 

“So, my assistant is going through… some personal problems right now. Normally, I can help him through that, but they’ve scheduled me for a whole day of video conferences so I can’t do anything about it. And you know… how demons get when they… you know…” Diavolo visibly blushed, trying to get the words out. He stopped in front of an enclosure, his hand resting on the handle while he tried to figure out how to explain his situation to you. 

“I… Don’t understand…” You admitted, confused about what he was trying to hint at. 

“Oh?” His eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline in surprise. “So, Lucifer hasn’t explained anything to you about what my assistant is going through?” 

“No… this morning was rather rushed in trying to get me here as soon as possible.” 

“Oh, well… come on in, let me explain it to you properly.” 

As soon as the door swung open, you could hear the sounds of someone desperately whining. Your eyes followed the sound until they lit upon a young man… no, a demon curled up on one of the plush couches of the lounge, completely naked and writhing around. His teal hair plastered to his flushed face, he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He glanced up to the two of you, his eyes glazed over; it was almost as if he was staring right through you. Your eyes trailed down his body and stopped at his cock and you could feel yourself heat up, unable to tear your eyes away at its unique shape.  Okay, note to self, no two demon dicks look the same… 

“So, this is Barbatos.” Diavolo’s voice cut through your trance. “He’s my assistant, and normally he’d have this under control; but things happen.” The large man shrugged. “Demons go through a rather intense hormonal surge called a rut once every few decades or so. Sometimes they can feel it coming, other times, it’ll hit them like a truck. You can guess what happened this time.” 

“Ah… the latter.” You said, nodding slightly, finally able to move on from staring at Barbatos’ cock and notice his tail swishing back and forth in agitation. It was quite a sight to take in. You could only assume what Diavolo was about to ask of you; but you wanted to hear it from him instead of coming to conclusions on your own. 

“I can normally let him just ride this out, but we’ve got some really important meetings coming up this week that he has to attend, so you’re going to need to help take the edge off…” His hand rested on your shoulder. “If I didn’t have so many calls to take care of today, I wouldn’t have needed to call you over.” 

Barbatos whined again from where he laid, tears streaked down his face as he looked at you, pleading with his eyes. “Please… help…” 

Taking pity on his unfortunate situation, you took a tentative step forward, surprisingly calm for having such a giant bomb of information dropped on you. You reached out to him, gently pushing away his hair and he hissed at the contact, grabbing your hand and pulling you in for a deep, hungry kiss. The delicate horns on his head scratched your face, leaving long welts across your cheek. 

“Well, I think you have an idea of what you gotta do. My meeting starts in a few minutes so I gotta jet. I’ll check up on you when I get a chance to!” Diavolo’s tone was frustratingly chipper as he made his leave. “Oh, and don’t worry about making too much noise. I’ve jinxed this room to be soundproof.” He reassured before he closed the door and left you alone with his assistant. 

“I’m sorry…” Barbatos said in between his heavy pants. His taloned hands tore your clothes to shreds, his hormones taking control of his actions as he forcibly removed what you wore. You panicked; thinking about how you were going to get back with nothing on you. However, your worries had no place in a situation like this, especially when you felt Barbatos’ cock pressed against your thigh and he hissed in need, rolling his hips to meet yours.

You took another look at it, before taking it in your hand, following its twisted pattern from the base to tapered tip. It vaguely reminded you of a narwhal’s horn in how the muscles twisted together in a spiral to the tip which freely dripped cum. You ran your thumb across the tip, earning you a loud moan, Barbatos arched up, begging to be touched. His whole body was so sensitive from the rut that anything you did sent him deeper into a state of need. 

Your skirt and panties were the next things to be ripped off of you, leaving you as naked as he was. He wasted no time in positioning you above him and slamming you down on his cock; letting out a guttural moan when he was balls deep in you. With the way he was shaped, he drilled into you easily, sliding in and out of your slick folds. Despite his delicate frame, he was strong, controlling the pace by holding your body right where he wanted it and brutally thrusting into you. 

The ridges of his cock rubbed inside of you, making you gasp and moan. You felt yourself teetering and about to fall but something stopped you from doing so. His long tail tightly wrapped itself around your thigh, helping you stay stable. The demon beneath you looked at you with such heated hunger in your eyes, you felt yourself shiver, the pleasure his cock was giving you driven by his hormones served to heighten your own arousal. 

You shouted in surprise when you felt something probing at your asshole. Looking behind you, you noticed the tip of his long tail caressing your ass crack and probe tentatively at the tight hole there. You looked back at Barbatos and saw how glazed over his eyes were from finally getting some relief. He was acting on pure primal instinct, taking everything he needed to end the onslaught of desire that coursed through his veins. 

The tip of his tail coated itself in your essence that liberally flowed down your thighs before it went back to teasing your other hole. You gasped when you felt it press into you. He was still roughly fucking into your pussy as he pushed his tail further into you. His eyelids fluttered and his grip on your hips tightened as he started to stretch your tight hole open with slow even strokes. You didn’t have time to catch your breath as his cock hit every sweet spot in you and penetrated you deeply. Even if he didn’t have the same girth and length as Lucifer or Diavolo, the deep, spiraling ridges pressed against all the right places and made you cum without much effort. 

He didn’t let you breathe after your first orgasm, fucking you without abandon and still working you with his tail. It was then when you realized that his tail was forked, scissoring your hole and stretching your ass in order to fit more of it into you. With your essence aiding in lubrication, it didn’t take long before he was able to put a significant portion of his tail into you and you started reeling in the feeling of having both your holes filled. Gasping for a break, you braced an arm against the back of the couch, using it to keep you upright as Barbatos used you. 

He was insatiable, the heated need in his eyes didn’t dissipate even after he had cum into you. He kept going, fucking you through his orgasms and your own. Your whole body felt numb from all the times you had come undone around him. Each time it was explosive and raw, each time you thought it would be over; but, he kept going. At some point, the two of you found yourselves on the floor. You, on your hands and knees while Barbatos took you from behind, his tail working in rhythm to his cock to once again bring you to orgasm. 

You clawed at the soft carpet below you, crying from the overload of sensations. It was too much, you had lost count of the number of times you had been brought to climax. Yet, the hormones running rampant in the demon fucking you refused to be sated until you blacked out, unable to take anymore. 

Only then did the edge begin to wane. Even if he was still needy, Barbatos carefully curled his body around your unconscious one. His legs intertwined with yours as he kept his cock buried in you, keeping every bit of his seed inside. His tail which had fucked your asshole for hours now slowed its deep thrusts, slowly pulling out of you and giving your body some relief while you rested. 

In your sleep, he placed soft kisses on your shoulders, massaging your breasts and whispering quiet apologies for how roughly he had treated you. You mumbled in your sleep, shifting a bit to get into a better position. As you moved, the instinctual side of Barbatos roughly moved you back into place. Even if the worst of the rut had run its course, his hormones still made him possessive and nearly feral at any shift outside of his control. As soon as you had settled into his arms again and he was sure you weren’t going anywhere, he finally let your body get some much needed rest. 

He himself dozed in and out of consciousness. Even now, his body screamed for more despite how exhausted he was. The room reeked of sex and it only served to keep him hard inside of you no matter how many times he had released himself. His hips kept twitching, rocking into you driving his cock further into your warm depths as he craved contact and stimulation. His body was drained from being in a state of constant arousal. Now that he regained some sense of himself, he took his time in sliding his cock in and out of your abused hole. 

You were brought to another high in your dreams. In your mind, you saw and felt Lucifer caress you. It was his body pressed up against your own and his cock that was penetrating your core. Your body reacted to the images of your dreams, keeping you wet and willing as Barbatos fucked you slowly in your sleep. You remembered begging; you remembered the image of his magnificent demonic form before you and how it made your whole body sing in pleasure. Everything ached, but it was so worth it to feel every detail of his cock working your swollen walls. 

You gasped, feeling your orgasm rush through you and you were jolted back into reality. Barbatos still clung to you from behind, murmuring softly to you and treated you as if you were his most precious lover. He was barely awake, but you could see some light returning in his eyes whenever he blearily looked at you while he placed soft kisses along your jaw and your neck. His sharp teeth left marks all across your back as he marked you with love bites. The sudden shocks of pleasure kept you from sleeping for too long; but at least you were able to rest off the worst of the exhaustion.. 

“Oh? You’re already so calm?” Diavolo’s voice snapped you out of your daze and you glanced up to see him standing at the doorway. “Just finished up everything, so I came to check up on you to see how you were doing. Looks like you got through the hardest part.”

You weakly smiled at him as he walked in and closed the door behind him. “I think he’s sleeping.” You mumbled, gesturing to Barbatos behind you. 

“He can sleep on the couch, it’s much comfier there.” Diavolo bent down and picked up his assistant, finally pulling him out of you and you gasped at the sudden loss of dick inside of you. All the cum that had been kept in you flowed out, coating your thighs and the carpet below you. You heard Barbatos mumble something in protest, but he was too tired to really do much against his much more energetic boss. 

Once he had been put to rest on the couch, Diavolo turned to you. He sat down on the carpet and pulled you up to sit in his lap. “I’m sure that was very intense for you.” he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your temple while his large hands massaged your aching muscles. “I should apologize for putting you through that so suddenly.” 

You didn’t have the energy to really rebuke his apology. Even if it had all been a surprise to you; you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. Honestly, what happened was likely better than spending eight hours filing paperwork. You managed to at least make a sound of acknowledgement and nestled yourself against his broad chest, enjoying the gentle aftercare he was giving you. He made you drink water at regular intervals and fed you while you drifted in and out of sleep. You weren’t sure how long you were in that strange state of limbo, but Diavolo nursed you back to feeling somewhat human. 

When you awoke, you noticed that you were still cradled in Diavolo’s lap, but this time, he had significantly less clothing than before. Blinking to make sure that you weren’t dreaming, you were entirely too shocked to really process what you saw in the reflection of the full length mirror that was attached to the back of the lounge door. Your whole visit Diavolo’s headquarters had been such a whirlwind, you somehow managed to miss such a large fixture in the room. Your brain, still waking up, had to process the demon who’s lap you were sitting in. His chest was bare, whatever accessories he usually wore in this form had been removed already and laid safely to the side. 

You ogled at the intricate swirling patterns that traveled across his whole torso. Ignoring how much of a right mess you looked after being fucked out of your mind, you took time to admire the leathery wings that sprouted from his back and the grand horns that graced his head. “My apologies, I like to go back to this form whenever no one is around. It’s so much more comfortable to me than looking like a human.” He explained, chuckling softly at your shocked expression. 

“Oh…” you managed to get out, shifting a bit in his lap so you could get a proper look at his face. 

“You’re not scared?” 

“No… I think it’s very hard to be scared after seeing Lucifer and Barbatos.” You reasoned which earned a chuckle out of him. 

“Fair enough.” He conceded. His hand gently combed through your hair, getting out the worst of the knots and tangles. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’ve had better days.” You admitted, noting the distinct soreness your whole body experienced, especially between your legs. 

“I can imagine…” He said, pressing a kiss at your temple. “You did so well, especially on short notice. I’m truly impressed at how well Lucifer trained you.” 

“I… Thank you, my Lord.” You said, humbled by the praise and feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling spread across your chest. Hopefully that meant you were able to uphold Lucifer’s reputation through this ordeal. 

“Hmm… You’re very welcome.” he said, humming softly, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. His hands traveled to your breasts giving them a tentative squeeze. “I know I said I soundproofed the room for you and Barbatos, but that was only for humans. I could still hear everything that happened in here.” 

Your body went from hot to cold, a shiver ran down your spine and you could feel your brain stop working. His hands, gently but firmly spread your legs wide. In the mirror, you could still see Barbatos’ cum dripping out of your sore and tired pussy. You could also see the massive bulge you were sitting on top of. “Would you mind taking care of one more problem?” He asked, gesturing to his crotch and making eye contact with you through the mirror. 

“I… I’ll do my best to please you.” You said, swallowing hard and wondering if your body could really take anymore. After the rest and the care Diavolo had given you, it really did feel much better; but you weren’t sure if you were quite ready to take another demon’s cock into you. 

“Ah.. no wonder he’s so attached to you. You’re just so willing to please.” He said, moving you off his lap only to quickly divest himself of his pants. The moment you saw what you had to work with, you licked your lips with uncertainty and felt  your body instinctually prepare itself to accept the massive cock that he had just unveiled. 

Diavolo kept you facing the mirror, straddling your legs on either side of his thick thighs. One hand at your abdomen, and another at your chest kept you upright as your shaking thighs started to sink onto his length. The blunt head of his cock spread your pussy wide open without any chance to ease into his girth and you immediately screamed. The soreness turned itself into pain as you tried to accept the demon lord’s cock into you. He hushed you, gently rubbing your breasts to keep you distracted from the pain. His strength kept you from collapsing. You looked forward, staring at the length that wasn’t in you yet and the knot that you would eventually have to accept. The tip of his cock had already disappeared into you, but he was about as thick as your forearm and almost as long. The large, pulsing knot at the base of his cock was at least the size of your fist. For the first time you worried about breaking in half.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…” He murmured softly, calming you down and distracting from how much you were about to take. “Just breathe slowly and you’ll have all of me soon.” he reassured. 

He kept his voice low and soft, lulling you into a state of peace. Eventually the pain faded and you allowed yourself to sink further in him. You watched in awe as every inch of him slowly disappeared into you in the mirror. Your pussy stretched and contracted to accommodate the tapered swell of his cock. He coached you through every breath, mumbling soft praises and what sounded like spells to take away whatever pain you might have felt from being stretched out so much. You could see the outline of his cock pressed up against your lower abdomen as he got close to bottoming out in you. “Good girl…” He purred, smiling softly at how beautiful you looked with his dick stuffed into you. 

He let you breathe, making sure that any discomfort was gone before he started moving inside of you. The moment you did, you felt as if you had been rearranged to accept his cock and everything that it brought along with it. The large ridge at the tip of his cock dragged itself along your sore walls, waking every tired nerve in your body. You moaned, leaning up against him and bracing yourself against his sturdy body while he moved you as he wished up and down his cock. Looking at the mirror, you saw how slick his shaft had become, coated with a mixture of your fluids and Barbatos’. 

It was mind numbing how slow he went; but it was likely to your benefit. You were sure to have been broken if he had taken you with the same veracity as his assistant had. It let you enjoy every sensation to its fullest and after a few passes, you were writing in his lap, moaning his name and gasping every time he was fully seated inside of you. There was still the matter of his knot, but that was an afterthought to what you were experiencing right then and there. 

His hand at your abdomen slid down to toy at your exposed clit which only added to the mind blowing sensations you were going through. You tried to call out his name but all that came out of you were gutural gasps. Your mouth stuck in a perpetual “O” as he only added more and more pleasure for you. “Mmm… that’s a good look.” He murmured rubbing circles at your clit and starting you on another pass up and down his cock. “When we get all the way back down, I want you to cum, okay?”

You only nodded in reply, watching your body rise and fall in the mirror, entranced at how easily he moved you up and down his dick. As he wished, the moment the last inch of his shaft disappeared into you, you came, clenching around him and crying out as white hot pleasure exploded inside of you. You spasmed, wheezing and crying, not even noticing the door had opened at that moment to welcome yet another person to the party. 

Lucifer gaped at the sight before him. He licked his lips, unsure how to present himself. He knew you would be in a rather compromising position once he arrived to pick you up, but he didn’t expect this. The sight of you taking Diavolo’s demon cock inside of you, the way you were stretched right to your limit and writhing in his grasp sent waves of desire to his own crotch. He hadn’t planned on joining, but with how quickly he was getting hard just by watching you cum, he found himself unbuckling his pants and kneeling in front of you.

“You make me so proud…” He purred, kissing sense back into you and you squealed into his mouth. You were so enraptured with your own climax, you hadn’t noticed him come in at all. His hand laced itself into your hair, deepening the kiss and there was a deep, dark urge in him that he no longer could control. 

It was time to push you past every limit he had ever set.

“I want to see you break…” He breathed as soon as the kiss was broken and you were given a second to regain your bearings. 

Diavolo behind you let out a low whistle at that admission, his brows raised in anticipation of what Lucifer had in mind. He leaned back, getting himself comfortable and eagerly awaited what sort of plan Lucifer had to break you and put you back together. 

Lucifer ran his length up and down your stretched slit, coating his cock with your juices. “Move.” He demanded, glaring up at Diavolo and the demon lord obliged, going back to the slow, languid pace he had set for you earlier. Watching your pussy stretch and take so much cock only served to make him harder and that need within him grew once again. 

On the second pass, just as you were midway down Diavolo’s cock, you felt something else pressed into you, forcing its way in to join the massive dick that was already stuffed into you. Lucifer’s eyes glowed red as he pushed you past your limit and you swore you felt yourself splitting in two with how much you were being asked to take. Garbled sounds of protest spilled from your lips, but he persisted. As Diavolo continued to sink you down, Lucifer’s own cock joined in your hole and when you were once again bottomed out on top of Diavolo’s knot, you had somehow managed to take them both. 

“Good… very good.” Lucifer groaned. He rolled his hips into you, shoving himself even deeper in you. 

A soundless scream came from your voice as they went further and moved to add that massive knot into you. With Diavolo firmly pushing you down onto him, the motion only embedded Lucifer deeper into you. The widest part of the knot approached and you didn’t want to see how wide you had been split open by the two demons. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think, all there was in your world was searing hot pain, pressure and pleasure mixed into one. 

And as the widest part slipped into you, the tie completed itself and your body no longer felt anything. As if your very soul had exited your body and you existed in a subspace in your mind. There was pleasure, yes, but there was an inexplicable fullness you couldn’t express. Your arms fell limp at your sides They would move soon, you knew that would be the case. Diavolo had already whispered something to Lucifer as you stared blankly at the ceiling, shutting out everything around you to simply experience what they were giving you. 

The movement at first was barely perceptible. Diavolo took charge, considering it was his knot you were taking. With the way Lucifer was crammed into your pussy, he was in no position to move as well. It was a slow rocking of his hips like waves crashing into a cliff. There was a ringing in your ears that tuned out all sound around you save for the frantic beating of your heart. The demon lord rocked his length in you, stirring that tell tale feeling of an orgasm building up in you.

You didn’t think you could clench around them, it was impossible with how full you felt. But the pressure of your climax demanded your muscles to do things you didn’t think you had the capacity to. Each little motion amplified itself, sending your mind into a blank bliss and you could tell the end was near. Your skin felt hot breath on it as the men neared their release as well. Blissfully, you heard Lucifer’s voice cut right through the hazy subspace. 

“Cum” 

You did as you were told, screaming until your voice was hoarse and when the high was over, all was black. 

~~

You awoke sprawled out on the seat of a limo. Your head on Lucifer’s lap. You tried to move but your muscles refused to comply. Lucifer gently pat your head, shushing you quietly. “You don’t have to move. It’s a long ride home.” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Rest for now…” 

“My.. My clothes..” You croaked, your throat as sore as your body and barely able to make many coherent sounds. 

“It’s okay, Diavolo let you borrow his shirt. It’s big enough to keep you decent.” 

A surge of relief washed across your body at that fact. Even if it was just a shirt, it would at least be better than having to get home in nothing at all. You looked up at Lucifer who seemed so pleased. There was a small, soft smile on his face as he ran his fingers through your hair and doted on you. 

You tried to move again, if only to find a more comfortable position and found that Lucifer’s blazer had been protectively draped over your body to keep you warm. The familiar scent of his cologne and musk slowly lulled you into a peaceful sleep.

“Did I do okay?” You asked before you were fully unconscious. 

“You did perfectly. I couldn’t have asked for more.”  He reassured. His hand continued to meditatively pat your head as the limo took the long way home, giving you as much time as possible to let you rest peacefully. 

Having taken the time to break you so thoroughly, Lucifer couldn’t wait to start the process of putting you back together as he wished. 

~~ Taglist: @ptv-hades @bluelipsblueveins-blue @utopiamiroh @vanillaicebaby @taehyungtrasholiviahaneul99

[lifblogs]

#SPNAdventCalendar2020 | The one with the dancing. | @bend-me-shape-me

READ ON AO3

Sure, Castiel didn’t really have money, but with Charlie’s proved and patented method of, according to Dean, “liberating money from assholes,” he’d illegally wired money into a fake account with the name Sam Novak. (Dean didn’t think the name was funny.) It seemed hard to keep up with these false identities, especially when there were larger, more important things to take care of, so really, Sam had wired the money for him. He’d told Sam he wanted to do something special for Dean since he knew Christmas would be exceptionally hard for him this year. After promising to keep a secret, he told Sam what it was. His friend just clapped him on the back and assured him that Dean would love it.

With the plan in mind, he’d told Dean that they had to go somewhere for a case, and he came up with a lie that Sam wouldn’t be going with them because of the stuff with Chuck. Dean, as morose as ever, hadn’t even fought with the point.

Actually, he hardly wanted to get into Cas’ truck.

The pain between them, they were working on it. They were back to holding each other, and Cas just staring and staring, unable to not see anything but how beautiful Dean was. He regularly felt Dean’s eyes on him as well. Castiel knew what he wanted to say to this one, perfect, glorious human, but he knew he didn’t reciprocate. Still, it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let him know how he felt.

When he pulled up to the diner, all the lights were still on. Though, there weren’t any cars in the parking lot. Good, just as Castiel had requested.

Dean climbed out of the truck, surveying the area. “Really? The case is right here?”

Cas tried to lie, and gave a very deadpan, monotone, “Yes.”

Dean frowned at him, and Cas started walking towards the diner, knowing Dean would follow on instinct.

“Dude, that was a terrible ‘yes.’ It didn’t even have any conviction.” Castiel was just nodding along with what he was saying as he opened the door, and led Dean inside. “When you’re lying, you gotta tell yourself that you believe it, and make the other person think you do.”

Castiel just rolled his eyes. Dean hadn’t turned and looked yet.

“What?”

So, Castiel took Dean by the shoulders and he forced him to turn around. Dean gasped at what he saw. The diner was empty, only a few lights lit to give the wooden, rustic interior a soft, pleasing aesthetic quality. Christmas lights were up around the room as well, all colorful, giving the room a beautiful glow.

Dean looked at the empty diner.

Cas looked at Dean.

“We’re not here for a case, are we?” Dean eventually surmised.

Castiel took his arm, and then dragged his hand down, till he was clasping questioningly at Dean’s wrist. He felt Dean’s pulse jump, and his friend looked down to where their hands were. He swallowed roughly.

With his other hand, Cas snapped his fingers in the direction of the jukebox sitting along the far wall. It lit up, and then the machine started playing. Led Zeppelin poured out of the speakers.

“Shall we?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked at him, eyes wide. Oh no, Castiel had messed this up. Of course, Dean didn’t want to. But he could feel the end coming, feel it coming for all them, and last Christmas Dean had been possessed by the archangel Michael. Castiel just absolutely had to do one good thing for Dean before their end or it would tear him apart. It would be worse than his own actual death.

Dean again looked down to where their hands were nearly clasped, and then he was the one who slid his hand into Cas’ so that they fit perfectly. He squeezed, as if reassuring the both of them that this was real. Dean cleared his throat, cheeks pink, and pulled Castiel in to him. Cas was content with letting Dean take the lead on this. Besides, Castiel worried that if he took the lead he’d somehow become too intense, that he’d show Dean how much he loved him, and he would do so rather violently.

That was what his love was like at times, and what it had been at first. Violent. Mostly because Castiel hadn’t really understood it. How was an angel supposed to love anyway?

As far as he knew, they weren’t. Yes, they were capable of having sexual desires, and Castiel was prone to those, even with the lonely nights without Dean. But to love? Surely it had been an impossibility, and yet, here he was.

For now, he relaxed as Dean put a hand at his back, going to take the lead. Castiel hesitantly put a hand at Dean’s waist.

Dean tensed at first, made some sort of rough grumbling that could’ve been words, but then Castiel looked at him, keeping his look entirely honest, and sincere. He couldn’t tell Dean what he was feeling, but perhaps, in some way, he could show him.

Dean seemed to relax at seeing Castiel’s easy smile, and he started to lead them in a dance through the open area in the middle of the diner. It wasn’t a good dance. None of them really knew how to do it, but soon, they were clasping hands, arms in close to each other, their bodies touching together as they swayed to the music.

Then, Dean started doing a motion Castiel hadn’t anticipated. Though humans weren’t strong enough to move angels, he let himself be moved. He ended up in a spin, his overcoat puffing out in the air behind him. When he was pulled back in to Dean, they were both grinning.

“This is really nice, Cas,” Dean said as they drew even closer now, foreheads nearly pressed together.

“I wanted to do something for you,” he said. “Last year was… bad, for lack of a better word, and this year—”

Dean shook his head, biting his bottom lip. “No, don’t talk about it. Don’t—don’t ruin this.”

“Of course, Dean.”

They danced and they danced, the room seeming to fall away, and there was just the way they held each other.

They paused, Dean puffing air out through his cheeks, and Castiel could smell his exhaustion. After all, it was very late at night.

Cas wanted to speak, wanted to let this feeling last forever, but he worried that if he spoke, the moment would break, it would reveal itself to be just another one of God’s deluded stories. It wouldn’t be real. Yet, he wanted to speak, wanted to open his mouth and share his heart with Dean.

To his surprise, Dean opened his mouth, pressing his forehead to Castiel’s. “You know, Cas, you’re the first person in years who’s been able to make me feel special. Like I—like I matter.”

“You do matter,” Castiel insisted.

Dean raised his eyes to Cas’.

“And that’s what I’m talking about. You’re there for me, even when—even when I don’t know how to be there for you. And god, Cas, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

“Just be with me,” Castiel pleaded. “In this moment, right here. Just be with me.”

“Okay,” Dean replied. He took in a deep breath, and Castiel could smell the strength in his emotions, even as worry pulsed through them. He could smell a resolve coming through them, sense that Dean had come to a decision of some sort. “Okay,” he said again, voice softer this time.

Before Castiel knew what was happening, Dean had pressed his lips to his. The kiss wasn’t a demand, or a profound releasing of emotions. It was a vulnerable question.

When Dean pulled back, all Castiel could do was stare, slack-jawed. Dean lowered his head, shaking it, cheeks all red.

“God, I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have done that.”

Dean loved him back.

“I’m sorry. Cas,” he continued rambling, “can you please—?”

Castiel grabbed the back of Dean’s head and pulled him into a kiss. He had wanted to be soft and slow with Dean, but even now, he could feel their time running out. There would be no soft and slow. In a matter of seconds in which they tried their best to learn each other, to know each other, the kiss turned abrasive, desperate.

Dean had to pull back for breath, and Cas took the time to suck on his bottom lip before releasing it.

“Cas,” Dean breathed, words rough, filled to the brim with unsaid emotion.

Perhaps kissing Dean again would let them both tell each other those emotions, to do so with their bodies. Castiel wanted to, but for now, he just wanted to hold Dean, and let it sink in that he surely felt the same way. Castiel pulled him close, putting a hand to the small of Dean’s back, and they danced. They danced till the stars faded from the sky, and the sun spread dawn over the horizon.

They danced until they both knew that they loved each other.

Tag list: @evilwriter37, @thenightwolf732, @fanola-draws.

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Twenty-One

“So.. what do you think?” Robyn asked as she slowly turned in a circle. Leandra stood up and walked around her a bit before standing back with her hands on her hips, “I love it. We’ll get your hair done and you should be ready for tonight.”

“I don’t even know why I let you talk me into this. This isn’t our first date, you know.”

“No but it is your first date since you’ve been given a somewhat clean bill of health. You should get all dressed up. It’s been weeks, Robs.”

“I don’t even know where we’re going.”

“Does that really matter? You are going out with your husband, don’t worry so much.”

“Boyfriend. We are not married.”

“You could be if you’d stop playing.”

“You will not start with me too. I get enough of it from my mother and Melissa.”

“They aren’t totally wrong. I don’t see what the hold up is.”

“There isn’t a hold up. He hasn’t even proposed to me.”

“Would you say yes if he did?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“How don’t you know?”

“Just what I say. I don’t know. I love him but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ready to go down the marriage road with him again either.”

“I mean neither of you really gave your marriage a fighting chance beyond that first year. This could really be a clean slate for the both of you.”

“We’ll never have a clean slate and I’m not saying that in a bad way but it’s just realistic. There’s no need to delude ourselves into believing our past will be forgotten. We’ve moved past it and gotten this far in spite of it but it still happened.”

“Then if you moved past it, why the concern?”

“Because I’m not ready to go there. It’s a really simple concept.”

Leandra scoffed, “whatever you say.”

Robyn went back into the dressing room to change back into her clothes. 

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddy, why can’t we go with you and Mommy?” Anesa asked as Chris started packing her overnight bag.

“Well Sweetheart, this is a grown up date. We took you and Christian with us the other night for a family date,” Chris replied.

“Yea but I wanna go on this one too.”

Chris chuckled, “Baby Girl, sometimes Mommy and Daddy need alone time. It’s just one night, you’ll be back home tomorrow.”

“I guess.”

“You don’t have to look so sad, Love Bug. What’s going on with you? You’ve been wanting to be under us more than usual. Did something happen?”

“No.”

“I don’t think you’re being truthful with me, Anesa. Come here.”

Chris sat down on her bed and Anesa climbed into his lap, “talk to me.”

“I just want to make sure you and Mommy stay friends.”

“When were we not friends, Nesa?”

“A little while ago when y’all weren’t talking.”

“Sweetheart, we were still friends then too. Listen, in relationships, sometimes things happen and it takes some time to adjust. Mommy and I were in an adjustment period especially since we had just had your little brother and Mommy was still very sick and recovering. You gotta give time for things to become normal, that’s all.”

“I thought you didn’t love each other anymore.”

“Awww….I will always love your Mommy. You never have to worry about that.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. There’s nothing going on with me and your Mommy that should ever be cause for concern, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Good. So go get your Teddy bear and put it in your bag so you don’t forget like you did last time.”

“Yes Daddy.”

“I don’t know, Le. This seems like a bit much,” Robyn remarked as she twisted in front of her mirror and the screen of her laptop.

“I know he said something casual but that doesn’t mean it has to be basic.”

“But look at my legs.”

“Your legs look incredible as does your ass. Bitches pay for a body like that. Thick is it, Baby Girl.”

“Whatever.”

“You are being way too hard on yourself and for no reason. You look good and I am not just saying that because we’re friends. You’ve lived in sweatpants and leggings for the last few months, enjoy being womanly and enjoy those curves, you earned them. Postpartum done turned my fashionista into a damn bummy tomboy. No go.”

“I did not look  bummy.”

“Bitch, you definitely do. Perfect size 14 hidden under them baggy ass clothes and Chris’s hoodies. You looked homeless as hell.”

“Ugh….the disrespect.”

“It’s the truth. Go out with your man in that little ass skirt, do whatever then drop your pussy on his face for good measure. You deserve it.”

“Why are you so vulgar?”

“Why are you so scary?”

“I am not scared.”

“You definitely are. We have never had to talk you into a dress or getting your hair and nails done. That was always your thing so get back to it. Part of getting back to normal is getting back to loving yourself. I know you may look different but different isn’t necessarily bad, you know. You’re still standing, celebrate that.”

“Pregnancy always did make you all cerebral.”

“Girl shut up. All this baby is making me do is pee all the damn time.”

Robyn laughed, “I love you, Le.”

“Good but I need you to love you too, ok?”

“I’m working on it.”

“Good. Now go sit on your man’s face or something.”

“Bye Nasty.”

“You love me, Sis.”

Robyn ended the video call then took one more look at herself in the mirror. She really didn’t look bad at all. SHe grabbed her purse and left out into the living room. Chris was leaning against the back of the couch with his arms folded. The colors in her skirt gave their ensembles the only lift of color as Chris was dressed in black from head to toe. He looked good.

“Hey Babe,” she said softly.”

“Hey. You look amazing.”

“Thank you. So do you.”

“Thanks. You ready?”

“Yup. We can head out.”

“Next time tell Leandra to stop talking so loud.”

Robyn’s eyes widened, “Oh my god, you heard that.”

“I heard enough.”

“How much?”

Chris smirked as he pressed up behind her and leaned close to her ear to whisper, “I do plan on you sitting on my face at some point tonight.”

“Chris.”

“Uh uh, we’re not talking about it. We have a date to get to,” he moved to open the front door, “after you, Ms. Fenty.”

“Where in the world do you get these ideas of things to do?” Robyn asked as she lifted a smock over her head. Chris carefully tied it in the back of her before they followed their host to a gathering of tables. They were set up in sets of two, each table facing the other.

“Well this idea is actually something you mentioned years ago and when I was thinking of where to take you for our date that wasn’t super serious, pottery sounded good.”

“I mentioned this before?”

“Yea, back in college if memory serves me correct.”

“Do you always remember everything?”

“The good things, I try.”

“Hmm…:”

Chris helped Robyn sit down at the pottery wheel in front of him before he sat down at the one on the other side, “is this ok?”

“This is great. I’m surprised I don’t remember that conversation.”

“You really don’t?”

“No. I suppose there’s some things I’ve blocked out over the years, good and bad.”

“Wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why?”

“The bad stuff I get but our dating never seemed that forgettable.”

“I didn’t say it was forgettable, I said I blocked some things out. Big difference. We knew each other too well back then, hard to move forward focusing so much on the past especially with our past being so entwined with each other. Good memories are sometimes harder to deal with than bad ones.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The desire for them to reoccur always comes with them.”

Chris nodded his head in agreement, “now that I understand but that doesn’t seem like a bad thing.”

“If things ended good, of course not but we originally didn’t.”

“Very true. You really wanted to forget me.”

“Forgetting you meant I could rebuild my life. It just didn’t turn out that way.”

“And now?”

“Now is now. I’m happy. I have a great relationship and beautiful babies, I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“Are you scared to want anything more?”

“Scared? No. Cautious? Absolutely.”

“Hmm…”

“I spent a lot of years assuming, I’m walking into this eyes open.”

“But you still don’t trust what you see.”

“I trust what I see and what I feel. I don’t trust my processing of it, just yet.”

“I can understand that.”

“Are you putting out feelers for something?”

“Nope, just having a conversation. So what do you want to make?”

“I think a bowl should be easy. You?”

“I’m thinking a vase.”

“Sounds a little complicated.”

“I think I can handle it.”

“So….did I offend you earlier?” Robyn asked as she took a bite of her steak. She returned her fork to her plate as she took a sip of water. Chris glanced up at her then shook his head, “No. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know, just asking.”

“There was nothing to be offended about. We both had our own ways of making it past our divorce, that’s nothing abnormal.”

“Oh ok.”

“Tonight has had a weird line of questioning, are you putting feelers out for something?”

“No.”

“You sure? I know your family thinks I’m gonna propose to you soon.”

“They’ve been thinking that ever since they found out we were each other’s internet friend.”

“Ah. That doesn't concern you?”

“Why would it concern me? It’s not I’m just gonna fall in line with it just because it’s what they expect.”

“And what do you think I expect?”

“I have no idea and no desire to speculate. Do you want to propose to me?”

“I’ve told you before I wanted to marry you again.”

“Ok but do you want to put that into action?”

“Are you worried that every time I take you out there’s a possible proposal around the corner?”

“No but should I be?”

Chris laughed, “Robyn, when I’m ready to propose, there will be no question or wondering about it. I’m not gonna tell you beforehand but you’ll know what my intent is.”

“Ok.”

“That’s it? Just ok?”

“What else am I supposed to say? You know my stance on marriage, my concerns about some secret proposal have been clarified, there’s nothing else to say.”

“Does the idea of marriage scare you?”

“No but the idea of marriage has scarred me. I’m not ready mentally or emotionally for it so I don’t think about it unless somebody brings it up which tends to be every time I talk to Melissa or my mother.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for? You’re not the one bringing it up.”

“I know but I feel indirectly responsible.”

“Listen, you love me. I love you. We have family who unfortunately don’t know how to mind their business but we love them anyway. It comes with the territory.”

“It doesn’t have to. I can ask them to stop.”

“Not necessary.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

They both fell silent and continued to eat their dinner. After the waiter carried away their empty plates, Chris took a sip of water and sat back in his seat. Robyn’s brow furrowed as she mimicked his movement, “what’s on your mind?”

“What makes you think something is?”

“I know your body language and you’re thinking about something.”

“Are you ever gonna officially move in with me?”

“I thought I did already.”

“You still have your apartment downtown though.”

“Chris, I moved my stuff out of there and into storage six weeks ago.”

“What?”

Robyn laughed, “That’s why I went down there for a weekend. I sold whatever furniture I could and put the rest of my stuff in storage. I thought you knew.”

“No, we never talked about it. I just remember asking if you had heard back on the buying price for your apartment, you said no and that was it. Where is it in storage at?”

“In Middletown. There’s a place about 20 minutes from the house.”

“We can get it out of there. You know I have a storage building on the property.”

“I know.”

“All this time I thought you were deciding on whether to leave or not.”

“If I was going to leave, it would’ve been months ago. I’ve been at your house since the beginning of my second trimester, Christian is going on six months old. That’s almost a year, Babe.”

Chris chuckled, “I really didn’t know how to approach you about it without seeming like I was being pushy.”

“You could’ve asked me. I didn’t want to assume that I could store my stuff at your house so I got my own thing, that’s all.”

“Well then I guess my next question won’t seem so weird then.”

“What?”

“You wanna redecorate?”

“Why? Do you want me to?”

“I want you to feel at home and there’s not much of anything that’s yours there except for you, your clothes, and our babies.” 

“Chris, have you ever heard me mention any of that?”

“No but I also didn’t know whether you wanted to stay or not either.”

“True. Honestly, we could just put some pictures up or whatever and that should be fine.”

“Are you sure? I want it to feel like it’s your house too.”

“It’s fine besides now that I’m back to work, we’ll only be there on the weekends right?”

“Yea but that doesn’t change my sentiments. We have to update the condo then too.”

“How about we take some family photos, blow them up and use it as art, make it feel more like our homes and not just yours?”

“Works for me.”

“I’ll have to check Melissa’s schedule and see when she can do it.”

“Ok.”

“Now I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“Did you really hear my entire conversation with Leandra?”

“Every bit of it.”

Robyn laughed, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because she can be a bit much.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t disagree with anything that she said.”

“But what if I do?”

“OK then what do you disagree with?”

“Sex being the center of our evening.”

“We’ve been out since 6 and it’s going on 9, has it been the center of our evening?”

“No.”

“Have I brought up sex at any point tonight since we left the house?”

“No.”

“So,what’s your point?”

“I was just saying.”

“Robyn, I know you. I don’t have to seduce you as cocky as that seems. I don't have to do anything to charm you out of your panties because if you want to give them to me, you will.”

“I’m not that easy.”

“No but you are that stubborn. You will push back just to do it even if it goes against what you really want to do. I cannot claim you unless you want me to. I cannot seduce you unless you want me to. And I also can’t get you to sit on my face unless you want to. There is absolutely nothing easy about you and as frustrating as it is, it is also the sexiest thing about you.”

“You lie.”

Chris chuckled, “why would I have to? You have made me work to have you since the day I met you. No amount of time will change that about you.I’ve always loved that about you.”

“You just called me stubborn, Christopher.”

“And at no point did I say it was a bad thing, did I?”

“I guess not.”

“So, my only plan was to ask you, Robyn, would you like to have sex with me?”

“Here we are once again,” Robyn said a light chuckle as she sat on the edge of the bed and kicked her shoes off her feet.

“You really didn’t have to rent a room, Christopher.”

“Special occasions deserve a special atmosphere.”

“For someone who claims to not be trying to seduce me, you sure are trying to seduce me.”

Chris chuckled as he unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it over the armchair beside the dresser, “The flowers are because I love you. The candles are to make it smell good.”

“And the massage oil?”

“That’s to make sure you still feel good once we’re done.”

“So that’s not for before?”

“No, definitely for after.”

“Hmm...what exactly do you plan to do to me?”

“What do you want me to do to you?”

Chris began removing his pants as Robyn leaned back on her hands to watch, “are you going to get undressed?”

“You can do it once you’re finished with yourself.”

“No taking charge here?”

“I’ll take charge later.”

Chris smirked as he leaned against the door. Robyn sat up, “you’re staring at me, just like last time. What is it?”

“Nothing. Just looking.”

“You make me nervous when you do that.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t ask.”

“Do you really wanna get all serious at this moment?”

“This moment was already serious. Any time I spend with you is important and serious. So what did you mean by I make you nervous?”

“This is the first time I’ve gotten dressed up in almost a year.”

“I know.”

“So...”

“Robyn, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re beautiful no matter what to me. I wish I could make you believe that.”

“I’m trying.”

“Good and today was a great first step. I’ve missed seeing those legs in heels.”

Robyn giggled, “what you trying to say?”

“That you’ve been dressing like you’re auditioning for Set It Off.”

Robyn’s mouth dropped open as she tossed a pillow at him, “Babe!”

“It’s true. You’ve been wearing boxers for months and since that is a one hell of a skirt, I can see that tonight you’re not. I’m impressed.”

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”

“It is definitely a compliment. I know it wasn’t easy for you because you don’t quite feel comfortable yet so I do appreciate any effort you take to get back outside your box.”

“I didn’t even realize I was in a box.”

“You’ve been through a lot especially over the last six months, it’s gonna take some time to get you back in your high heels and short dresses but we’ll get there.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Because I am. If there is anyone that can pull themselves out of a rut, it’s you. You dealt with my moody, screwed up ass for three years, this is a piece of a cake.”

“Well that’s true.”

Chris pressed his hand to his chest in mock shock and Robyn laughed, “you said it, I was just agreeing.”

“I like that sound.”

“What sound?”

“You. Laughing. You sound happy.”

“I am happy. Tonight was great even though you still haven’t brought your half-naked self over here yet”

Chris chuckled, “I like committing this view to memory.”

He walked over to the bed and Robyn lifted her leg to press her foot into his chest, “what you doing?”

“You really have to ask? I kind of wish you kept your shoes on.”

“Why?”

“So I could take them off you myself.”

“Hmm...so how you feeling tonight?”

“I’m feeling like we both just go with the flow tonight,” Chris grabbed her foot and placed a kiss on her ankle, “what about you?”

“Whatever you want, I’m here for it.”

“Can I kiss my girlfriend?”

“Wherever and whenever you want.”

Chris grinned and leaned down to kiss her lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Baby.”

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Aaah! Christopher, stop it,” Robyn screeched laughingly.

Chris grabbed her around her waist and pressed against her, “stop making all that noise. You gonna wait up the whole floor.”

“Then you get from behind me. You play too much.”

“Who said I was playing?”

“Chris, we have to get home to our children.”

“Our children are with their aunt. They will be fine, besides we have this room for a few more hours and I want to enjoy them.”

“Baby.”

“Look, we’re not even dressed yet.”

“Actually my shirt and skirt are on.”

“Minor technicalities.”

“Christopher.”

Chris leaned in and nipped at the skin of her neck. He murmured, “why you acting like this?”

“Because we’re never gonna make it out of here if you start again.”

“We will. I promise.”

He carefully opened the top buttons of her shirt to kiss her shoulder and collarbone, “I can’t walk out of here like this.”

Robyn moaned softly and bit down on her lip as he kissed along the swell of her breast, “Why are you so damn irresistible?”

“I’m good at this.”

Chris hiked up her skirt, sat her on the edge of the dresser then carefully slid into the wet crevice.

“Oh God,” Robyn gritted out, “You are too good at this.”

He rocked inside her slowly, to keep from moving the furniture against the wall. Robyn’s nails dug into his shoulder blades as she pressed her head against his. Chris gripped her thighs and gently pushed them apart as he sank deeper into her. He nibbled at the swell of her breast before moving his lips to her neck. He could feel her legs trembling and her walls tightening but he didn’t want her to cum just yet, not without him. He pulled out, leaving only the tip in and Robyn let out a sigh against his skin, “I was close.”

“I know. That’s why I pulled out.”

“We don’t have time for you to play.”

“We have time for anything we want to do. You know I never rush.”

He pushed back into her and she groaned out loud. Flexing her walls against his shaft, she attempted to hold him in but he slid back out then pushed back inside. Hard. 

“Christopher,” she murmured.

He kept kissing on her neck, nibbled at her earlobe and caressed her thighs as he gently pulled out then kept pushing back in. She could feel her orgasm just teetering on the edge. Her skin felt like it was burning up. She trailed her nails in the sweat glistening on his back. He finally picked up the pace but he pulled her away from the dresser and held her up in mid air. He continued to bounce her against his pelvis, her skirt bunched above her waist, her shirt hanging off her shoulders. Her hair sticking to her skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck to anchor herself. He dug his fingers into her thighs to hold her steady then whispered one word in her ear,

“Come.”

Chris stopped moving as he watched her orgasm wash over her face. It was never violent or exaggerated. She always came in a gentle manner. Her eyes closed. Her chest heaved for a few seconds then slowed. Her body went lax against him, her face pressed against his head. It was his favorite part of them coming together. He wished he could bottle that feeling somehow, so she could feel that way at will. As her body released against him, the peace in her movements, her face was all he ever wanted to remember. 

[rouiyan]

𝘚𝘐𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘚𝘞𝘌𝘌𝘛 [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ part of the before i met you collective ⧐

synopsis: "how could i ever say no?"

✧ lee donghyuck x (fem.) reader, best friends to loverz

✧ genres : plotless fluff, tiny angst ✧ word count : 2k ✧ disclaimer : swearing

✧ author’s note — guys, hyuck deadass has my whole heart.

“ahh,” you hold your mouth wide open, eyes never leaving the screen, in the direction of donghyuck who had just returned from the kitchen, snacks in hand. he’s in his usual getup of an oversized hoodie paired with basketball shorts, glasses propped upon the bridge of his nose and a messy flop of hair cascading over it. 

he sighs, “geez, give me a break. i barely just sat down.” he pinches open a bag of spicy potato chips and pops one into his mouth before reaching to get another one for you. you’re clicking furiously and muttering various curses under your breath at the opponent and donghyuck's weak heart can’t help but flutter at how worked up you get every time you fail to land a punch. he’s about to put his hand down and wait for a time when you're not so focused but your mouth snatches at the chip and he almost jumps, his hand fearing consumption.

it takes your absolute all before you finally beat the boss, you eyes almost rolling back into your head and refusing to roll back out because of how exhausted they are. school was about to start, in three days to be exact, and if you didn't finish the game now, well, it was now or never. donghyuck sat by your side, mouth full of greasy potatoes, occasionally sipping from whatever drink he had brought. there was no reason for him to be here, he just insisted that he felt you tended to need some emotional support whenever you gamed, claiming that you were always far too 'out of it' to actually care for yourself. he said, as he always does, that it was his job to care for you. and that held true; no matter if you had a boyfriends at the time or not, donghyuck manged keep his word.

turning to look at him, your breath ragged, you see that his hood is pulled well over his forehead. chuckling, you take a fistful of the front of his sweatshirt and gently yank him towards you while grasping at the material of his hood with your other hand and tugging it back. this action causes his heart to topple and his eyes to stutter wide. your nose is close enough for him to move bare centimeters and place a gentle kiss on it. your lips are close enough for him to move bare millimeters and place a gentle kiss on it. he gulps. this can't be good.

giggling and awfully unaware of your best friend's crush for you growing by the second, you scrunch your nose at him (the very nose he wanted to kiss) and purse your lips, "i wanna see your face, silly." all donghyuck can do is swallow his feelings and instead be left breathless by your side profile. the more rational side of his mind is busy scrambling for a reply that doesn’t make him sound like the lovesick idiot of the century while the more irrational side is left in a blundering mess, bouts of adoration emitting from within. he collects himself and makes sure his countenance doesn't give away his rumbling inner thoughts. “you like what you see?” 

your smile grows fonder, if possible, at his comment but he doesn’t dare to take his eyes from your face just because he knows the little blush that’s to appear. soon enough it blooms across your cheeks and he lovingly coos at the sight while your smile reverses into a small pout. “ugh, so flirty,” he hears your muttered reply although he's unsure if he was meant to. your head is already turned back to the screen after the little exchange and he holds onto it as you press ‘resume,’ replaying it in his head just to see that bright smile and little pout that he could never get sick of.

a few more chips are fed to you while you continue playing, which would be completely fine if not for your incredibly low spice tolerance. it isn't long before donghyuck notices your aggressive hissing that is definitely not from the sight of your character frolicking through a field. he's on the cusp of bringing it to your attention when you abruptly speak between two seethes, "hyuck, get me water please," he immediately moves from his spot to get water from the kitchen when you voice out your struggles once again. "actually, just get me anything. it doesn't matter." 

donghyuck watches as your tongue curls at the tingles and he gauges the severity of the situation. he quickly snatches the drink he'd brought with him, despite knowing you wouldn't like it very much, and brings it up to your lips. you take one, two, three gulps before you turn to look at him with wide eyes. he swears your about to hurl the contents onto him and he winces in preparation but it never comes. you thickly swallow, the liquid almost threatening to bubble up once again, a gag reflex. the spicy sensation is gone but is now replaced by blatant disgust as your mouth hangs open as if you’d been force fed. 

"red bull? hyuck, you're fucking kidding me!"

he bites back a smile as he settles his eye on your disbelieving face, "you said it didn't matter!"

"yeah, i did say that but that's red bull! literal poison!"

"hey, you’re not gonna die from one sip." a smirk is now forming on his face, he feels equally bad and equally good for being the center of your current attention.

"i can't believe you're still drinking that, hyuck." the pout returns and donghyuck silently rejoices, "i thought you said you were cutting back."

he bathes in your eyes for a split second before he simply replies, "i am."

"so what's that?" you eye the can suspiciously, upset that your best friend still succumbs to the unhealthy beverage. 

"it's just a little energy boost, princess. i gotta stay awake to keep you company."

the nickname that accidentally slips past his lips catches the both of you off guard, his cheeks flaming a deeper red with each moment passing. you seem to handle the flustered silence better than he does, even going as far as furthering his state by scooting closer to him and placing both hands on one of his shoulders, propping your chin upon them. he can feel your fresh breath tickle and fan the skin under his ears and he knows that if he just so much turns his head in the slightest, he will be face to face with you in all your glory, without much space in between. he's not sure if he's ready for that.

clearly you don't give a shit because you tilt your head upwards to give him a kiss to the cheek. a soft, billowy kiss that leaves him stuck in that same trance, perpetually. withdrawing, you try poking at his sides to see if his expression will budge from the fazed out gaze he's sporting, but to no avail. "hyuck? are you okay?" he can hear you but he knows he's way too 'out of it' to answer. damn, you were supposed to be the one that was 'out of it.' 

the sudden quietness of the room unsettles you and you're suddenly aware of his reaction. weird, you think, hyuck is never like this. hyuck's always and constantly flirting back and making sure he has the last word. you have an inkling on what this could be about but you almost instantly flush down the idea of bringing it up but it's hard to suppress because your gut instinct tells you that you’re right, that you should go for it. no, he really can’t like you. no, you're just deluding yourself... unless, you're not.

"hyuck," you blurt before you can even stop yourself. his head snaps up at the sound of his nickname. "do you like me?"

where it was previously beating a mile a minute, donghyuck's heart is now at a complete standstill. he can still hear it thumping louder than ever in his ears but he knows there's no way he'll live through this. taking a second to zone out of the whole situation, he notes that your character on the screen is now being mauled by a mob of freakish creatures, though the volume is turned low. he notes how your fingers are absentmindedly drumming on the fabric of your sweats as you usually would when you're nervous and that your blinking more than normal. maybe that was a sign you liked him back? maybe, but surely no. there's a dull ache in his heart that yearns for him to be selfish and just say no. he'd spare the potential loss of your presence by his side and just cope with always being the 'best friend.' but then he thinks of you meeting someone, that's not him, and dating someone, that's not him, and maybe one day even marrying someone, that's not him. he admits that the pain will be far greater than the dull ache he's experiencing now and perhaps that knowledge is exactly what he needs to persuade himself. donghyuck steels his heart because he thinks he's finally found the perfect reasons, the perfect timing, the perfect amount of courage to confess. 

and he also knows that, if this were to go downwards, it might as well be the last time he sees you like this, dressed down in the dead middle of night, hair a tangled yet endearing (or so he thinks) mess, and eyes wide, holding galaxies upon galaxies of stars, none of which could compare to the sheer light you radiate. donghyuck makes sure to revel in your presence, for what could be the very last time, to capture your features, the ones he already has committed to memory. he breathes.

then, without warning, "hyuck…i love you," wait, what?! "hyuck, i love you as more than a friend." your pupils are shaking and there's tears that are unshed but visible. there's so much more that's stuck in your throat refusing to come out but the few words that made it past the threshold of your mouth already say enough. donghyuck expects the grim reaper to appear in a matter of seconds, he expects to be able to detach his spirit from his physically unmoving figure and watch as you say those words over his dead body. any minute now. but the more he sits there the more he realizes that this is real. you are real.

you can feel the emotions building up inside of you while he just stares at you. unmoving, he stares and stares and stares until you think that you've only imagined the last few moments. your crying now and perhaps that's the only things that slaps donghyuck out of his trance. he rushes his arms around you in the most automatic matter. it isn't until your the front of your face soaks the entirety of the front of his hoodie that you feel a little less shitty. your face is smushed flush against his chest and when you finally come to your bearings, you notice his heartbeat contracting erratically on your forehead. emerging from his embrace yet still in his hold, you meet your eyes with his. they're wide and scared, reminding you of just moments ago. 

"i was- i was going to say that, exactly that but i- i guess you beat me to it."

"then... do you wanna be my boyfriend?" i want to be your girlfriend.

"damn it y/n, stop stealing my lines!" can i be your boyfriend?

"is that a no?" just say yes. i want to hear you say yes.

"n- no, yes. i mean no, it's not a no. and yes, i want to be your boyfriend." how could i ever say no?

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

[headspace-hotel]

for Christians:

I gotta get something off my chest.

No one cares if you only think it’s wrong to be gay if they “give in to their sexual sin,” or if you only disagree with the “lifestyle” or “practice,” or if you don’t HATE gay people, you just hate their “sin.” I don’t know why you think this is some kind of radically loving act to believe gays are human in spite of their sexual sins or whatever. Taking a person apart and deciding to love only the “acceptable” parts is not love, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t think you’re really doing that.

It doesn’t matter if you pity gay people for being “lost in their sin” instead of hating them. It doesn’t matter how heartfelt your hopes that they will “be convicted of their sin” are.

I know you’ve decided in your mind that gay people are sad, lost people who have strayed far from your loving God, and that they define themselves by their sin instead of their being a child of God and their “gayness” as an identity is misguided, but that doesn’t mean you don’t sound like an asshole and an idiot when you decide that you can “disagree” with their identity and love the person without loving their sexual sin.

It doesn’t matter if you believe that being gay is a sickness that makes people deeply unhappy and that gay people would be happier if they came to the light. It doesn’t matter if you think that gay relationships are based on lust and not love. It doesn’t matter if you think that gay people would be better off or happier if they were straight. It doesn’t matter if you feel sorry for them, it doesn’t matter if you see their condition as “a result of our fallen world,” it doesn’t matter if you think gay people are gay because they were abused.

It doesn’t matter if you “speak the truth in love.”

It doesn’t really even matter if you think you love them, or if you genuinely feel love for them. They are not experiencing love. I have tasted the poison of that kind of “love,” the kind of love that is the subject of discussion in youth groups about “how can we reach out to these people and share the love of Jesus with them?” It is poisoned, love as a set of behaviors directed at an end, to check a box, to create good feelings that make you feel like a loving person, or to relieve some kind of discomfort with the stereotypes people have of you, or to fulfill a need to “minister to” others in a meaningful way. It may be sincere but if it is not focused on the other person, it is not love.

It’s not love because it’s grounded in an absolute refusal to listen, an arrogance that imposes your view of the world on everyone else and sees everyone else as sadly misguided, a superiority, a view of the world with yourself as the stern but loving parent of a bunch of sad gay children that don’t know what’s best for them. You don’t see gay people as equals because no matter how you try to get around it you think they are fundamentally deluded in a way you aren’t and you have the power to share the “truth” with them. Don’t “we’re all sinners!” me. It’s different and you know it’s different. You treat their identities as if LGBT+ adults are children who are adorably pretending to be a bear or a shark or a dragon. You don’t think it is true in the end that they “are” gay, and you think this is a positive way to see them, as if erasing this side of them that they are bravely asking the world to see is empowering.

You behave as if it is more important for you to not be perceived as the “homophobic Christian” stereotype than to own up to the pain, isolation and death caused by the homophobia of those who came before you. The Christianity you come from wants to scrub its reputation of the blood, and no more. Because none of these conversations about ministering to gay people begin with repentance. I don’t care if you’re not like the Christians who did those awful things. How dare you be so arrogant as to think that being perceived as a good person is most important?

You see LGBT+ relationships as being base and appetitive and not having the pure, holy love that you have access to. Oh, you know your straight relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s an allegory for God’s love of mankind, whereas their love is a twisted perversion.

You persist even through the disapproval, reasoning that they don’t have the power to look inside your heart and see that you love them, and they can be mistaken, too lost in their sin to see that you’re steering them toward God. YOU, however, somehow have the power to look at a gay couple and determine for yourself that they don’t love each other, that their bond is based on emotions and lust, that they don’t mirror God in loving one another in the same way that you mirror God in telling them that they have something wrong with them.

Look.

I used to be like you.

Yeah, in high school I was a raging fucking homophobe. That’s why I know all the buzzwords, the discourse. I can probably quote to you all six verses in the Bible that supposedly speak against homosexuality. I know they are there. But as a young Christian I was asked to make an irreconcilable choice. The treatment of the LGBT+ community by Christians deeply bothered me, as did the idea that a person could have to spend their entire lives fighting against their God-given desires for companionship on this horrible earth because of a quality of themselves they could do nothing about or else God would abandon them. If made me deeply uncomfortable that happily married Christians felt it was right for them to explain to others that they had to be celibate their entire lives because they were just fucked up or whatever for some reason that not even God could or would change. In the end, it made me fundamentally uncomfortable that sin itself did not seem to have a core unifying quality outside of “God says so,” and that hurting others could be love and that doing others no harm could be sin. I was being tugged one way by compassion and the other way by teaching. My impulse toward love and empathy for others pulled me in the opposite direction i was “supposed” to be going.

I realized that if I was to condemn the LGBT+ community in the way I was supposed to, I would have to harden myself to empathy. I would have to turn off my compassion. I would have to love less in order to stop my instincts from defending “sin.”

And I looked down that path and realized I did not want to be that person. That path was completely antithetical to what everything in me said was completely central to my faith. Would Jesus have told me that I loved people too much? Would he have told me that it was my ability to empathize with others that was the problem? Was I willing to burn the entire spirit of the law on the altar of a tiny splinter of its letter?

I wanted to know that I was really loving others, that I wasn’t just basking in my own feeling of rightness. If I was wrong in that than I’ll happily be wrong. I cannot choose doctrine over love. If God has a problem with that, he shouldn’t have fucking made me that way. And if what we think is God genuinely thinks rules are more important than people, maybe it’s not really God. God is love and I think it’s more likely that there’s something that we maybe don’t understand than that caring about other people and not wanting them to be hurt is a bad trait for a Christian to have.

God is love, but not that much? God is omnipotent and omnipresent and created every star in the universe, but if people with the wrong shaped flesh feel affection for each other than he’s just got nothing? We are made in the image of God, fundamentally made to love one another, but his love, which is too vast for us to even understand without our tiny human brains getting absofuckinglutely boggled the fuck out, NEEDS the hardware of one (1) dick and one (1) vagina to run and if those conditions aren’t met within a romantic relationship God just bluescreens? We’re bags of flesh floating in space. We could all die tomorrow. Please let it be on a different hill.

(If we as a church believe our love for humans needs to be fenced in by our obedience to rules, then we made a really bad fucking choice in basing the whole thing on Jesus. Really, anyone other than him would have worked better.)

So that’s the message I have, pretty much. In the end, it doesn’t matter if you love people. What matters is are they being loved?

Most likely, you aren’t being misidentified as a homophobe...you are one. And you have to decide what to do with that fact.

sincerely,

a straight Christian who has seen all the arguments, who knows all the verses, who has been there, done that, and who is sick of y’all’s shit

[rosesisupposes]

with a door between them

this is one part projection/comfort, two parts fix-it

Set right after SVS Pt 2: Putting Others First

read on ao3

characters: Roman, Janus (Remus is mentioned but not present)

pairings: no romantic; platonic roceit

content tags: dialogue-heavy fic; self-doubt; crisis of self-worth; arguing; Roman-centric hurt/comfort; apologies; fix-it fic

reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse​ @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis  @mariniacipher @vintage-squid

word count: 1,619

⁂

Janus fidgets with his gloves, staring at the gilded door in front of him. He takes a breath, and knocks.

“Yes?”

“May I come in?”

“Are you sure you didn’t mean to go to Remus’ door instead, I know you get us confused!”

“Roman, I just want to talk.”

“Thanks but no thanks, I’ve had enough lectures for one day!”

“I’m not here to lecture you-”

“I don’t care. Go away.”

“Roman, please, just listen-”

Instead of a reply, Janus hears the orchestral sounds that mean Roman’s opened up a portal to the Imagination.

With a sigh, Janus pushing open the bedroom door to see the portal starting to close. He snaps, and it freezes just long enough for him to follow the Prince into his realm.

A grand castle, shimmering in polished marble and gilded roofs, stands before him. A flicker of a familiar red sash pulls his attention to the highest tower. He makes his way through the corridors and staircases until he finds the heavy oak door to the tower room.

“Roman, listen, please, just for a moment-”

“Oh my god, do you have to just slither in everywhere? Is it not enough to just fucking bask in your newfound acceptance and everyone agreeing with you? You’ve just gotta rub it in how wrong I always am?!”

“No, I just really need-”

“The only thing you need to get lost. There’s a whole magical forest just south of here, why don’t you try it. Better yet, get out of the kingdom.”

“I’m not leaving. I need to talk to you.”

“Too bad, this castle is enchanted so that no one can lie, guess you’ll have nothing to say.”

“That’s rather harsh.”

“Yeah, well,” Roman says with a bitter laugh. “That’s all I’m good for now. Just fuck off and let me wallow, will you?”

“I have something you need to hear.”

“Too bad.”

Janus sighs, and sinks against the wall, sitting on the tower landing. He glances at the heavy door, and settles in to wait.

Long moments pass in silence, before Janus hears a huff on the other side of the door. “You’re still there, aren’t you.”

“I am.”

“Ugh.”

Janus hears footsteps, retreating and returning. Roman must be pacing on the other side of the door. Janus just waits.

“Shouldn’t you and Patton be busy planning your wedding by now?” Roman grumbles.

“And break my confirmed bachelorhood?”

“Ugh!”

More footsteps, stomping across the stone floor and back.

“Does Virgil know what happened yet?”

“I assume so.”

“He hasn’t said anything to you yet?”

“I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to let him hiss at me more.”

“Of course you haven’t.”

Stomp-stomp-stomp.

“Why are you just sitting there!!! Don’t you have anything better to do than annoy me?”

“I told you, it’s important that I talk to you.”

“And I told you, I don’t want to hear it!”

“I know.”

“So why won’t you just leave?”

“Because it’s important.”

“UGH!”

The steps shuffle and stop. Something thuds against the door, followed by the sound of cloth sliding against wood. Janus shifts until he’s leaning against the door from the outside.

“I don’t see what could possibly be so important that only you could tell me,” Roman grumbles.

“Who would you have preferred in my stead?”

“Anyone but my brother. Actually, scratch that, I’d rather have Remus.”

Janus smirks, knowing Roman can’t see him. “What’s the saying? Blood is thicker than water?”

Roman snorts. “You’re not water. Unless you’ve secretly been Jesus this whole time and you keep miracle-ing it into wine.”

“Alas, no, my secret is out, how ever will I recover.”

Roman huffs out laughter, then groans. “No, stop that. No making me laugh when I’m mad at you. Fuck off. Go away.”

“Sorry, no can do. Not until you let me tell you what I came to say.”

“Lalalalala, I can’t hear you! Hm, wonder if the snake is talking? I don’t know, I can’t hear anything. Lalalala blah blah blah blah bubba gump shrimp!”

Janus waits as Roman continues to ramble, fiddling with his cape chain until the stream of words lessens to a trickle.

“I don’t think either of you is the “evil” twin, you know,” Janus says as Roman finally lapses into silence.

“What?”

“You and Remus. I don’t think either of you are evil. Evil implies some inherent level of ill will.”

“Okay but- wait, what? Is this what you came to say? Is this the big thing that couldn’t wait?”

“No, but- earlier. I’m quite fond of Remus. He’s chaotic, but not malicious . I don’t think comparing someone to him is necessarily an insult.”

Roman grunts.

“I know you don’t like the comparison, because being separate from him is important to you. But I- that’s what I wanted to say. To ask. Why do you think it’s such a sensitive issue for you?”

“You do remember how we ended up as two sides in the first place, correct?” For a moment, Roman’s voice is a dry as Janus at his most sarcastic.

“Yes, but- you’re still Creativity. Being similar to him won’t change that.”

“The mindscape named us for a reason, snakeface. I’m the Prince, not the Duke.”

“Prince William is technically a Duke-”

“Yeah, like technicalities matter in the subconscious!”

“Then what’s the big difference that overcomes the technicalities?”

“Has Thomas ever, ever, read a story where the Duke is the hero?”

Janus leans his head all the way back against the door. There’s an edge in Roman’s voice, a warning note that says don’t keep pushing. But Janus can’t let that stop him, not when they’re both so close.

“Why does being his hero matter so much?”

“It’s what I’m supposed to be!”

“So?”

“So without it, I don’t have a purpose!”

“Roman-“

Roman’s voice is speeding up, no longer talking to Janus, just himself. “No purpose means I’m useless, and useless means I’m not needed, and not needed means-“

Janus waits.

Roman’s voice breaks “If he doesn’t need me, Thomas won’t keep putting up with me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh please, like you of all people don’t know.” Roman snaps, voice strained with the effort to not cry. “I might have only one brain cell but at least it still knows what I’m like. I’m extra. I’m over the top. How many times have I pulled us all into dumbassery because I didn’t pause or hesitate and just charged in? I have no impulse control, even when I really should. Like when someone trusts us with personal information that took a lot to share and I just- laugh.”

Janus grimaces. “Your reaction being inappropriate didn’t justify mine. I knew how hurtful my words would be. Like you, I didn’t control the impulse. But my slip was worse. And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“But you’re not escaping talking about this. Thomas won’t ‘keep putting up with’ you? Roman, he loves you. You’re important to him, without being ‘of use.’”

Roman grunts. 

“You don’t believe me.”

Confirming grunt. 

“You still think you have to be needed.”

A pause. “Mhm.”

“Roman, what’s my function. What do I do for Thomas?

“I- well, I know it’s more than just deceit.”

“That’s right. Lies are a means to an end. And the end is self-preservation.”

“You protect him.” Roman says quietly. “From running himself ragged just to meet others’ expectations. From the rest of us completely take over his energy, whether that’s creating endlessly, or learning everything, or sacrificing himself to be perfectly selfless.”

“That’s part of it, yeah. You want to know a secret?”

“What”

“I mess up too, Prince. Not just in lashing out at you. Sometimes the lies that are meant to be self-preserving backfire.”

“I- what?”

“Sometimes, I let us tell ourselves lies that protect our egos, or that let us avoid having to grapple with more painful questions and realities. I help us spin a narrative so strong that it doesn’t even feel like a lie anymore, just a fundamental truth. But eventually, even the strongest narratives get enough holes poked into them that they crumble.”

Janus shifts, leaning sideways against the door, and continues. “And the worst part is that even as they crumble, you can’t always tell that the foundations were fabrications in the first place. You just accept them as truth, and the crumbling as failure. You believe your doubts and worries are clear-eyed truth-tellers.”

“You?”

“All of you. Thomas, Patton, Virgil, everyone. But you, Roman, most recently.”

“Oh great, I’m lying to myself now too?”

“Yes, you are.”

“And how, pray tell, am I deluding myself today?”

Janus pauses, makes sure Roman’s listening, and says, “By saying Thomas has to ‘need’ you to love you. By telling yourself you need to 'earn' your place among us. By thinking we don’t treasure you regardless of your contributions.”

“What do you- I-”

“Roman, listen very closely, okay? You are worth it. You’re worth the ‘trouble.’ You’re worthy of our love, and our time, and our care. We want you around, and we’ll keep wanting you around. Full stop.”

Silence, only quiet breathing, and Janus finally cracks open the door. Roman’s sitting on the floor, back against the wall, tears flowing through the fingers hiding his face as his shoulders wrack with silent sobs. 

Janus scoots over until their shoulders touch. Without speaking, he runs a gloved hand gently through Roman’s hair, over and over, until Roman manages to speak.

“You really mean it?”

Janus turns just enough for Roman to see him as he removes the glove from his right hand. He lifts his bare hand, and waits until Roman meets his eyes to say quietly, “I promise.”

[lonestorm]

God I wish I was doing Tumblr checks in my early days. I'm so disappointed I followed you. My queer pagan ass is here to remind you God isn't white. If life stops at brain function that's when it should start. Cheers!

Lmao, I’m so confused, I just... 

God is an omnipresent being-why... why would he have a skin color, or why would anyone care what it is...? and when have I ever said I think anything like that...?? I? I’m just laughing over here like this is the weirdest backlash to just posting pro-life resources I’ve gotten yet. I’ve gotta give ya the weirdest straw-man award, there ya go XD And if you’re pagan, you don’t believe in God, so why would you say what you think a nonexistent being (in your opinion) looks like I just ?

A person’s worth is not determined by their brain function. By this logic, those who have a mental disability are less than people with average function. I reject that, and decent people should. Additionally, brain development begins in the third week of gestation, aka before a lot of women even know they’re pregnant, so your argument (as every pro-abort argument) still does not justify murder. However, this fact is irrelevant-I don’t base human worth on how well they work like a normal person, because I don’t believe in eugenics. This message is so strange and deluded that I can only point out that if you think life should start and end at brain function, I hope that rule doesn’t apply to yourself, because I don’t think you’ve properly demonstrated such function here.

Lol but seriously, God bless you--I hope you open your heart to Him and find abundant joy in His love and truth! I’m done not saying what I think and believe-feel free to unfollow if different opinions are intolerable.

[the-awkward-outlaw]

A New Adventure

Warnings: None

Word count: ~2300

**Author’s note - This takes place in Utah (for my own reasons). This one shot is to set up my modern reader x Arthur Morgan head cannons. I am open to requests and ideas! If you like what you read, leave a comment!**

Masterlist

Read on AO3

You’re walking in the park by your home. It’s something you like to do every day with your dog, not only to give her exercise but so you can get some too. After all, working in an office at a desk doesn’t allow you to walk around much. 

The park is pretty and you’re lucky to be living just down the street from it. It sits at the foot of a mountain range in your home valley. Right now, there’s some snow on the ground from a big storm that came through a few days ago, but it’s already melting. Perks of living in the west. Sure, winters are cold and long and the snow sucks worse, but at least it only sticks around for a few days. You love living out here though. The mountains are beautiful, you wouldn’t trade them for hardly anything. 

You walk along the west side of the park right at the base of the mountain. There’s a small cave there, it only goes back about twenty feet and the local kids like to go play in there, and sometimes the older kids go in there to smoke or drink. Luckily because you live in a small neighborhood that isn’t close enough to the big city, kids smoking is about the worst that happens out here. You’ve been inside the cave once. There’s a weird drawing on the back wall, but several people have left their artists marks behind in it, so you’ve never thought anything of it.

As you begin approaching, Sage, your Bernese mountain dog, begins barking at it. Strange. She rarely barks and she’s been past this cave pretty much every day since you’ve had her. Maybe there’s a racoon or a skunk in there tonight. 

You tell Sage to shush and continue walking towards the cave. She settles down but still growls. You begin thinking of other things and forgetting about her behavior when a man steps out of the cave. You recognize him, not by his face, but his outfit. He’s dressed as Arthur Morgan from your favorite video game Red Dead Redemption 2. You smile at him. Cosplayers are a pretty big deal in your state, thanks to the rise of your local comic book convention. However, he’s dressed up for the wrong time for the con, it’s not until September. It’s only February. And why the hell would this cosplayer be in the cave dressed up? Weird. 

You keep walking. Sage wags her tail at him but continues on with you, no longer growling. She probably could smell him and not see him, explaining the barking. She’s an overly friendly dog so you’re not worried about her. 

The man looks around as though he’s no idea where he is. Maybe he’s on something. As you get closer, you think he’s an exceptional Arthur Morgan. He looks just like him. Not only are his clothes exactly like the character’s, even worn and dirty in the right spots, his face is exactly like him. Broad shoulders, tanned skin, light stubble on his jawline and unkempt hair under his iconic hat. You can even see the bald spot on his chin where Arthur has a scar. 

He continues looking around, confused, and then he spots you. You’re too close to just ignore him so you smile. 

“Nice cosplay!” you say. 

“Excuse me?” he says. Man, he even sounds like Arthur!

“I said, nice cosplay! You going to a costume party or something.” 

“A what? Lady, I ain’t got no clue what you’re saying.” 

You’ve stopped by this point to look at him, giving him a confused smile. “Man, you’re really in character too! I gotta admire that. I’m a cosplayer too but I can never stay in character. Kudos to you though!” 

You’re tempted to ask for a picture, but it seems perhaps a little inappropriate. He’s looking at you like you’re a freak, as if he wasn’t the one who just popped out of a cave. 

“Well, have a good night,” you say, walking on. 

“Uh, sure I guess. Hey, ma’am?” he jogs up to you and stops a few feet from you. He’s beginning to weird you out. Just because you live in a small neighborhood doesn’t mean you don’t know how dangerous people can be, particularly men. Besides, if he’s on something, he could be even more of a threat. You keep a tight leash on Sage. She’s not likely to attack him, but you don’t want him to know how much of a pushover pooch she is. 

“Sorry, ma’am, guess I’m just a little lost. Um, maybe ya can help me?” 

“Sure, I guess. What you wanna know?” 

“Well, where the hell am I, for starters.” 

You tell him the name of your town, keeping a hard eye on him. 

“Where is that exactly? Are we in New Hanover? Or West Elizabeth maybe?” 

“Oh boy, you really are selling this cosplay, ain’t you? Well, okay. I’ll play along. Mr. Morgan, you are in Utah.”

“Utah?” he says. He looks away and mouths the word. You know that Utah wasn’t a state until 1896, three years before Red Dead 2 takes place. Boy, this guy is really selling this. 

“Yeah. Come on, dude, quit playing. Your cosplay is on point, in fact everything about you is on point. But… come on, man what’s your name?” 

“Well, seems you already know my last name, miss. Name’s Arthur. Arthur Morgan.”

“Still playing, huh?” you say with a sigh. “Fine, have it your way.” You wonder if he’s one of those people with an illness that makes him believe he’s someone else. Like Teddy from Arsenic and Old Lace, who firmly believed he was Theodore Rosevelt. “Well, come on,” you say, wondering if you need to call the police or have him checked into a hospital. 

“Ma’am, I promise you I ain’t crazy and I ain’t playin’ whatever you think I’m playin’. Tell me, is it still 1899?’”

“What? Dude, come on. It’s 2020.”

“2020!” he cuts you off. “What the hell?” He looks around again and towards the east side of the park where the rec center and playground is, and beyond that the main road, busy with cars heading home for the night. His look of confusion and even fear is so genuine that you wonder what’s really going on. 

“Look, mister. What was the last thing you were doing before coming here?” 

He looks at you for a moment before answering. “I was in Big Valley collectin’ orchids for some crazy feller. I walked into this cave and saw a dinosaur bone. Some lady, don’t remember what she called herself, said she’d pay me for locations of bones. I went over to mark it and I saw this weird symbol on the wall. I touched it and the mouth of the cave got wickedly bright, it got hot, and when the light went away, I stepped out here.” 

He looks around again. “You seen a horse anywhere?” 

You look at him sadly. This poor, deluded man. Truly believes he’s Arthur Morgan, picking flowers for that collector in Saint Denis and finding bones for the paleontologist lady. You wonder who this man identified with before Red Dead 2 came out in 2018. 

“Mister, only rich people own horses. There’s some about a mile north, but they don’t belong to you I don’t think.” 

He looks at you, confused again. 

“Come on, mister,” you say, beckoning him to follow. “Let me, um… I think you need to see someone.” 

You begin walking again but he calls to you.

“Still don’t believe me, do ya miss?” 

“Listen to yourself!” you say. “Arthur Morgan is from a video game. A video game! He’s not real, but you are. Please sir, I think you need help.” 

“Lady, I don’t know what the hell a video game is, but I can prove I am real and I am Arthur Morgan!” 

He reaches into his satchel and pulls out a slightly ruffled looking orchid. The kind you know from playing the game grows in Big Valley in West Elizabeth, in the forest where the pigs and cougars spawn. He then pulls out a newspaper and hands it to you. 

The newspaper’s called “Saint Denis Times” and it’s dated June 18, 1899. The top headline is reporting the bloody massacre of the Grey family in Rhodes. You’ve read the newspapers in the game once before and you remember the article. It’s exactly the same as the one from the game. He then pulls out his pocketwatch. It’s worn and dirty just like the one from the game. 

He continues pulling out more objects, even some dried meat. As he shows you more things, you inspect the guns in his holsters. They look real. In his holster on his right hip, you see the double-action revolver with its gold barrel and white handle. You see the engraving of a stag’s head on it. 

The more he shows you, the more you find it hard to believe he’s not the real Arthur Morgan. But how in the hell is this possible? It can’t be and yet here he is. He even pulls out his journal. He doesn’t open it, you’re not surprised. You’ve played the game enough to know he’d never show you what’s inside (even though you’ve already seen it). Everything he’s shown you seems so genuine, so real. Something inside you says he’s not making it up, but how in the hell can it be real? There’s no logic to it! 

You tell him to put his things away as you try to think how this could have happened. Arthur, or whatever his real name is, asks to show you the drawing he touched in the cave. You say okay, but keep a firm grip on the pepper spray in your pocket (you never go anywhere without it). The man leads you to the cave and you pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight. 

“What is that?” he asks to the slim device in your hand, trying to stare into the light, flabbergasted by it. 

“It’s a phone,” you say, continuing on in the cave. Sage sniffs along the ground happily, but as you approach the back, she starts barking. The same way she was before the man came out of the cave. 

“That’s it,” he says, pointing to it. The drawing looks like some strange symbol. Although you’ve studied some anthropology and symbolism, you’ve never been able to place the culture or meaning of the symbol and just assumed some kid did it. However, getting closer to it, you see it’s been carved into the rock and looks like it’s been there for a long time. 

Arthur grabs your shoulder. “Don’t get closer to it, miss. I ain’t too sure what it is, but… well, it ain’t good I think. It’s what I touched and that’s how I ended up here.” 

You heed his warning and take a few steps back. You take a picture of it so you can do some research. You aren’t too sure what to do at this point. Something tells you that you can’t take this man to the hospital, and calling the cops wouldn’t do any good. However, the sun’s setting and you have to work in the morning. All your logic says he can’t stay with you, this isn’t a Disney movie after all. He might be playing an elaborate hoax or something. 

“You still don’t believe me, do you?” he asks. 

“How can I?” you demand. “I mean, listen to yourself! You can’t be Arthur Morgan! He’s from a video game!” 

The man sighs and walks over to the wall, placing his hand on the symbol. Sage begins barking like crazy and the opening of the cave becomes too bright to look at and the cave fills with hot air. After a few seconds, the light dims and it cools. 

You step outside the cave and find yourself standing in Big Valley. You’re in awe. Somehow, you’ve been transported to 1899 into the game of Red Dead. A pig somewhere nearby squeals and you see, maybe 50 feet away, a huge Ardennes warhorse. She snorts at Arthur. 

“You believe me now, miss?” he asks. 

You nod, still unable to speak. 

“Good. I… I have to admit, I wasn’t sure that’d work.” 

You finally look at him understandingly. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I didn’t think it was possible.” 

“I can understand why, miss. I wouldn’t believe it myself if it hadn’t happened to me.” He looks around and then begins to cough. 

“Shit, Arthur. You okay?” 

“Yeah,” he says, spitting into the grass and wiping his mouth. You see the small line of blood left away. 

“Arthur, you have TB, don’t you?”

He looks at you, shocked. “How… how do you know that? I only saw a doctor for it two days ago.” 

Where to begin with this, you wonder. “Um… it’ll take some explaining, but come on. Let’s see if we can go back and I can get you some medicine for it.” 

“You mean… there’s a cure for it where you come from?” 

“Well, sort of. We don’t have a cure, per say, but we do have antibiotics. They’ll kick your ass just about as much as the bacteria, but at least you’re more likely to live.” 

He looks at you and you see a glimmer of hope. “Okay. I’ll go with you, miss.”

You head back into the cave and touch the symbol. It surprisingly works again and you’re taken back to your time and your park. You’ll take Arthur to a doctor, but you have to drop Sage off at your house and get a car. You have to smile to yourself as you tell Arthur to walk with you. What an adventure this is going to be.

[snarkwrites]

sprung spring | cherry? popped. | xavier plympton {m}

PROMPT USED:

First time + permeate + “I need you. Now!” + rock in place + the steady creaking of the bed + supernatural being / human

NOTES:

Obviously, I am so so fucking awful at naming anything. And I tried my best to fuse ‘pre death’ Xavier’s personality with what he started to become before getting murdered and stuck in Camp Redwood. This is just my take. It’s probably not even remotely accurate, tbh. But.. It’s out here. I wrote the damn thing. I suppose I gotta own whatever consequence comes my way. 

Fun fact... this is a small peek at a sort of story idea I have in mind that knowing me, I won’t ever write... So... yeah. Maybe if enough people bother me, I’ll think about writing the actual fic I have in mind. Hints of a soulmate au if you squint. Virgin sex. FYI, this is set in 2019. And the concept as I imagine it and would write it if I were to do a fic is a little... weird... twisty... idk mannnn...

WARNINGS:

unprotected sex - with a ghost, body fluids, heavy emphasis on biting and marking, oral / hints of orgasm denial, probably waay too fluffy / sappy Xavier, virgin ! human oc x ghost ! xavier... I think that’s it.

PAIRING:

Xavier Plympton x OFC, Cherie. American Horror Story 1984

TAGGING:

Oddly enough, there’s no one on my American Horror Story taglist. If you would like to be on my tag lists please go [ here ] and put yourself where you wish to be. Or dm me and tell me where you wanna be tagged and I’ll add you.

“You’re not down at the bonfire with your boytoy?” Xavier didn’t even look up from the magazine he was flipping through. He knew she’d be standing there, watching him. The air between them lingered heavily with words unspoken. Since earlier, when she’d seen the soulmate marking on his arm that matched her own, she’d been scarce. If they had run into each other, she’d been distant.

Montana was right. In a few weeks, they’d all be gone and things would go back to the way they’d been before. He’d been an idiot to think that he could just get close to Cherie and be fine with having to let go at the end of the summer. So when Cherie started to avoid him earlier, he hadn’t tried to fight it. He hadn’t gone out of his way to seek her out.

They were literally two ships passing at night, after all. He was dead, doomed to remain in the camp for the rest of time. She was alive and she had so much ahead to live for. Things he couldn’t give her, even though he realized now that he really wanted to.

If he were as selfish as he’d been on occasion in life, he’d be stopping at nothing to keep her by his side. But he wasn’t entirely that guy anymore, so maybe it was better this way.

In the time it took him to come to this conclusion, she’d wandered into the cabin, shutting the door behind her softly. Sinking down onto the edge of his bed, she sat there, staring down at worn floorboards.

“I was. But then I…” Cherie trailed off, going quiet. “Look, before I came here, everything was planned. I was fine with it. Then earlier tonight, Jake got drunk and high and he started acting like an ass like usual…” she trailed off again, taking a deep breath. “I broke up with him.”

Xavier sat up, letting the magazine fall to the mattress. Even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea, he found himself slipping an arm around her. “You alright, doll?”

“Yeah, no… I don’t know. Everything is changing. I wish I could just freeze time. Or rewind it. I shouldn’t have come here, this was dumb, what am I even doing?” Cherie went to stand, but Xavier’s arms snaked around her hips and he pulled her back down to sit on his bed. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he leaned against her from behind.

This went against everything. He kept telling himself that he could handle the fact that the one thing he didn’t even realize he wanted having an actual for good expiration date attached, but today, her seeing their matching marks at last and distancing… It had shown him that he was wrong and he’d been trying to distance.

“No, no.. Freezing time or going back is the last thing you wanna do, doll. Believe me.” Xavier’s voice was warm and breathy against the shell of her ear and as he started to massage her shoulders, her eyes fluttered open and shut. Her head fell back and Xavier’s eyes locked on her neck as he licked his lips. He pressed closer.

“What’s that got to do with you comin in here, doll?”

“Because everything just became crystal clear… Maybe everything I had all planned out was wrong. Maybe Winona’s right. Shit happens for a reason. Coming out here, meeting you, I… I can’t fight the inevitable, not when I want it so bad it’s all I can see when I close my eyes… Do you know how hard it is, being around him, trying to pretend nothing’s changed and wishing it were you?”

Xavier’s breath caught and he gripped her body, pulling her into his lap before he could stop himself. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Trust me.”

“No, I know exactly what I’m saying.” Cherie’s tone was firm and she settled in his lap so that she was closer, pressing against him. As usual, he was almost icy cold. She gritted her teeth but smiled a little, taking his face in her hands. “You won’t make me change my mind. Look… I’m not saying that when the summer ends, I’m not gonna just…. Go off and do everything.. I’m not saying I give up, I just… I’m saying that I can’t keep going through the motions now. I just wanna be free. I want to enjoy things.”

“Babe, you can’t…” Xavier trailed off. She rocked herself against him and he swallowed hard, trying to shift the way she sat in his lap so she didn’t feel him about to burst through the jeans he was wearing.  His hands slipped down her sides, squeezing her hips to try and stop her from doing it again. 

“Why not? Don’t you want me? I mean we’ve been…Flirting for a while now and I thought that...Nevermind.” Cherie trailed off, confused and shaking her head. Her stomach was churning and she was starting to feel the embarrassment of potentially being wrong. She went to wiggle out of his lap and she made it to the door.

Xavier swore under his breath because the last thing he wanted to do was let her walk out that door. Goddamn it, he thought to himself, don’t I deserve something after all this bullshit?

“Wait, doll. Don’t go.” Xavier pressed himself against her from behind, his hand covering her hand on the doorknob, removing it. He slowly circled the shell of her ear with his tongue as he muttered lazily, “You’re not wrong, okay? I want you. So fucking much.” he thrust his hips against her backside, rubbing the bulge straining against his jeans against her backside and growling when the littlest bit of friction just wasn’t enough.

Just feeling how hard he was already through thin bike shorts had Cherie hissing and taking a ragged breath as she turned to face him and stared up. Her arms slipped up, wrapping around his neck, fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck as she clung to him and pulled him down just slightly. Enough that her mouth brushed right against his and Xavier growled quietly again, his hands gripping her hips tighter. Up into his arms she went and he stepped back over to the bed, dropping her gently against the lumpy mattress. He leaned down, pressing himself into her, his hands pinning her hands at either side of her head. “I need you. Now. We just… we won’t think about anything but tonight, okay?” the question came breathy and warm against her neck as his lips latched on and he rocked himself into her, drawing out a needy whine and a few ragged breaths as she nodded. “Agreed.” grinding against his lap, her breath hitching all over again as she felt the bulge in his jeans getting even harder. Her cunt was throbbing. Every single time he bucked into her, she could feel herself dripping a little more. 

Xavier’s forehead pressed into hers, his mouth latching onto her lips, drawing her into a slow and lazy kiss. Her tongue slipped out, trailing lazily over the outline of his lips and one of his hands left her hand, drifting down between them and tugging the baggy crop top she was wearing up and out of the way, letting it settle on the cabin floor.

Cherie tugged his shirt over his head, throwing it next to her own and Xavier’s hands drifted up and down her body, lingering on her breasts, pushing them together, his tongue slipping over her teeth, tracing them and then slipping between them to tangle with her own tongue. She rocked herself up into him, a quiet series of urgent whimpers and begging moans making him chuckle and reach for the pull to the lamp on the table next to the bed, cloaking the room in total darkness. His mouth broke from her mouth, working down her neck after he’d pushed her hair out of his way. 

The warmth of his breath against her ear sent a shiver racing through her body and when he muttered quietly “Gonna be a long night, doll.” smirking down at her when he felt her legs squeeze into his hips a little more. Her fingertips walked down his chest, toying with the button on his jeans as she stared up at him and bit her lip, giving a soft giggle when she responded quietly, “I hope so.”

Every part of him wanted to follow up with how he’d think of her as belonging to him after tonight, after they crossed this line, but he had to stop himself. He had to hold back. It was bad enough he was going this far. To delude himself -and most importantly, her, about a future they couldn’t ever logically have would be insane. Rather than do that, his hands caught in the waistband of her shorts and he started to pull them down her legs. She got his button undone, then the zip to his pants and Xavier rose a little too quickly, bumping the top of his head on the bunk above him and scowling while swearing about it, kicking his pants and boxers free at the ankle. Cherie’s eyes wandered over him slowly, lingering and even widening a little at the sight of his cock, standing at attention.

The thickness of his length had her swallowing hard and biting her lip as her heart raced erratically. Xavier knew exactly what she was staring at and it made him give a quiet chuckle as he lowered himself down all over again. Only her undergarments remained and those were quickly done away with, falling to the floor and settling on the edge of the nightstand and as soon as she was pinned beneath him, completely naked, Xavier’s eyes roamed over her body slowly and hungrily. 

He licked his lips and centered himself above her, his body spreading her legs. Lowering his face to her face, he muttered smoothly, “Last chance to back out, pretty girl.” 

“If I were going to back out, handsome… I never would’ve come in here to you.” Cherie admitted, going quiet when he stared at her a second or two as what she said clicked into place for him. He smirked, his mouth conquering her neck and throat, marking her up and not bothering to be careful or discreet about it at all.

Oh no, not him. He wanted tonight to be seared into her mind. If he was going to be stuck here, not able to forget her and knowing she was out there, away from him and living… If he were going to endure that torture, she was not going to forget tonight if he could help it. He wanted her to look back years from now and miss him. Wonder what might have been.

Maybe it was selfish. At the moment, he didn’t particularly care. It was already enough that he was going to do the right thing at the end of the summer and just let her go. That was already killing him. That was going to be enough selfless for him, right there. Knowing he had to let her go and that he’d never see her again, he’d never get to know what might have been.

“Fucking right you did, doll. You came to me.” Xavier’s voice was husky and low as he muttered into soft skin. Cherie took a shaky breath and gripped hold of his biceps, making him stop his mouth’s venture down her body and stare at her. “Just a heads up… I’m not exactly experienced at this.. Any of it… at all.” 

Her words had him gaping a little but leaning down, capturing her mouth in a needy and bruising kiss as he muttered lazily into the kiss, “This is going to be fun, then.” as her fingers caught in his hair, threading through. 

He reached down between them, wrapping his hand around his length, raising up to guide it along her folds, staring down at her with that devilish smirk as he licked his lips. When he teased the tip between them, he shivered and gave a quiet groan at the way she dripped already. “ Tell me something, doll..” he muttered , leaning down, pressing into her as his mouth moved across her collarbones, nipping and sucking. He stopped to look at her.

“Yeah?” Cherie breathed out, squirming, trying anything she could to get him inside her.  She gripped his jaw, guiding his mouth back to hers, her lips clenching his bottom one almost greedily as she bucked herself against him, splitting her folds as her cunt dragged down the length of his cock. Xavier growled and gripped her hip tight enough to leave a handprint behind and chuckling, he finished his question, “Are you ready to get your cherry popped, doll?”

“Yes.” gasping, she gave her answer as she tried again to buck against the grip he had on her hip. She couldn’t, and just knowing that had Xavier smirking, his tongue dragging lazily over his lip as he rose up and then crawled down her body, settling himself between her thighs, holding them spread with his hands. His tongue rolled up the insides, lapping greedily at every drop as she dripped for him. He felt her hand drifting down, tangling in the top of his hair and tugging. “That’s it, pretty girl. Pull my hair. Move those fucking hips.” Xavier drawled against her cunt as his tongue trailed right between it, a broad stripe moving upward to circle her clit one, two, three times. When he sank his teeth into the edge of the bundled nerves, she cried out, her other hand gripping the faded blanket on his bed. Her hips rocked upward against his mouth and his nose bumped against her dripping heat as he inhaled and groaned at the scent of her. He could feel his cock getting harder at just the thought of burying inside, having her walls clench around it. Feeling her drip and coat it. Making her scream his name over and over and over again. When she whimpered and whined and begged him to go faster with his tongue after he’d buried it deep in her cunt, he chuckled and smirked against her. “Does this feel good? Because fuck… You taste so sweet.” 

Cherie’s head fell back and she gripped the blanket and his hair tighter, angling her hips upward, rocking against his mouth like he told her to, harder and faster. The faster her hips moved, the more his tongue swirled. Xavier growled against dripping folds as the taste of her absolutely flooded his tongue and wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, he made his way back up her body, pulling her up, crushing her against him as he pulled her into a rough and bruising kiss. 

He felt her tense beneath him as he started to sink into her and she whimpered, biting her lip as she looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s not gonna hurt long, okay? I promise.” Xavier’s voice was almost a growl when he muttered the words against the shell of her ear. His hands drifted down, gripping her hips as he sank into her a little deeper, staring down at her the whole time.

“Fuck.” Cherie gasped, “So big.” 

The words drew a pleased smirk and Xavier pressed his hips into her hips firmly, going still after he’d buried himself in a little deeper. She tried to move her hips but he squeezed them, holding her still and shaking his head. “You good?”

“Mhm.” Cherie muttered and Xavier buried his cock completely inside, slow and deep thrusts, his hips smacking against hers so hard that he knew there would be bruises. She met every single one of his deep and hard thrusts with her hips, moaning his name and whimpering, clinging to him from below. “C’mon, faster, please?” she managed to gasp, but Xavier continued at his preferred pace, hell bent on fucking her deep into the mattresses beneath them. She pouted up at him, frustrated tears stinging at her eyes because she could feel herself tensing and tightening, just like she’d been when he had his head buried between her thighs and he kept stopping then.

She wanted another orgasm.

He seemed to be hell bent on taking his time. As his cock struck against her throbbing g spot over and over, slowly and steadily, she moaned louder, her voice drowning out the soft smack of their bodies colliding and the slow and steady creak of the old iron bed frame. “C’mon, doll.. Scream my name. Let everyone know who’s got their cock buried deep in that dripping pussy.” Xavier urged, smirking when he started to go a little faster and Cherie seemed to get louder, her moans bouncing off the walls and drowning out all the other little background noises around them. “You’re so fucking tight, so wet. Fuck.” Xavier managed to gasp as he went still inside her, holding his finger to her lips, leaning in to steal a few kisses. 

It felt so fucking good he knew if he kept going, he’d explode. Stopping was better than doing that. But he knew he couldn’t hold off much longer, either. And he could feel her tensing all over, practically shaking now, whimpering and begging him to be able to come.

“I’m gonna fucking fill you up, pretty girl. Do you wanna feel?” he asked as he drove into her deeper and harder, his hips snapping erratically as his mouth latched onto her neck, leaving a line of bites and bruises in his wake. Cherie moaned as her orgasm rushed through her, leaving her shaking and whimpering, rocking her hips against his thrusts greedily, gasping for air as she clung to him. Xavier fucked her through her orgasm and right into his own, the tightness of her cunt as it encased his length driving him right over the edge before he could stop. “Fuck… Fuck… here it comes.” he groaned as his cock throbbed, rope after rope of his sticky hot seed seeping into her deep, their juices puddling beneath them on the bed. He flopped down behind her, pulling her partially on top of him, raking his hand through her hair to push it back out of her eyes as he pulled her into a lazy yawn filled kiss. 

“Sun’s comin up.” he muttered quietly, chuckling when she swore under her breath but then cuddled against him completely and muttered through a yawn, “Fuck it. I’m too lazy to give a damn what that overbearing woman could possibly have to say when she realizes I’m not in my bed.”

“That’s the spirit, doll. Just stay here with me a little longer.”